I periodically like to record a "day in the life" entry. I like to go back and compare them and see what's the same, what's different, and what is proof positive that I am VERY FIRMLY set in my ways. (For instance, compare today's entry to this one, or this one.)

5:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off for Calvin. I grunt and roll over.

6:18 a.m. - Calvin's phone rings. And rings. He comes running in from the other room to answer it. I grunt and roll over.

6:25 a.m. - Calvin kisses me goodbye. I grunt and roll over.

6:36 a.m. - Zoe prrrrowts in my ear. And touches me on the face with her wet nose. And pat-pats me on my face with her paw. And reminds me of this entry. I scritch her and roll over.

6:40 a.m. - Oz jumps up on the bed. Zoe beats me to death trying to dive off the bed, and under it. Oz follows.

6:40:15 a.m. - Growl. Hiss. Growl.

6:40:25 a.m. - HISS. GROOOOWWWWLLL. SPAT!

6:40:30 a.m. - I holler at the cats and thump the headboard. One runs out, I don't see which but I assume it's Zoe.

6:50 a.m. - Zoe prrrrowts in my ear. And touches me on the face with her wet nose. And pat-pats me on my face with her paw. I squint at the clock, debate getting up 10 minutes early. Dismiss it as a bad idea.

7:05 a.m. - The alarm goes off again. I mutter something that sounds like, "This is bullshit." I turn off the alarm, start the shower.

7:05 - 7:15 a.m. - Wash face, shampoo, conditioner, wash body, rinse rinse rinse, dry. Pick out and put on clothes (blue jeans, white T, maroon zip-up hoodie, socks, sneakers).

7:15 - 7:20 a.m. - Acquire coffee. Coooooffffffeeeeee. Take vitamins and prescriptions.

7:20 - 7:40 a.m. - Hold conversation with Zoe (who likes to sit on the edge of the tub while I perform my ablutions) while moussing and combing out hair, moisturizing face, cleaning out ears, putting on deodorant, putting on makeup, drying and styling hair, brushing teeth.

7:40 - 7:55 a.m. - Put water in snake's tank, turn on waterfall and UV light. Put water in dog's dish outside, give them a cookie and pets all around. Put canned food in dish in Oz's closet, put canned food in Zoe's dish in the weight room. Fill up indoor water dish. Shred summer squash and tear up dandelion greens, put a handful in Cheeto's dish and a handful in Lucy's dish. Turn off A/C, lock bedroom doors, defrost two slices of spelt bread and slather with cream cheese, put in baggie and then in work bag. Take pork chops out of the freezer to thaw for dinner tonight. Grab bag, keys, badge, out the door and in the truck and on the way to work.

7:55 - 8:00 a.m. - Drive to work. Listen to one of the TUS mix CD's.

8:00 - 8:10 a.m. - Get to desk, put down bag, dock and start up laptop, grab water cup and tea mug, rinse them out in the bathroom, head down to the cafeteria to fill up water cup and get hot water and honey for tea, head back to my desk, log into the network, put tea bag in hot water, settle down with my baggie 'o breakfast.

8:10 - 8:30 a.m. - Answer e-mails, eat breakfast.

8:30 - 9:00 a.m. - Start this journal entry and update with morning activities.

9:01 a.m. - Stop! Potty time!

9:05 a.m. - Start balancing checkbook and paying bills.

9:15 - 9:35 a.m. - Life is interrupted by an AcronymCo fire drill. Lights flashing! Alarms blaring! People filing out of the fire exits like lemmings! Lots of standing around in the parking lot while the building sweep is conducted. Then, more filing! More lemmings! Aaaaaand I'm back at my desk.

9:35 - 9:40 a.m. - Take a phone call and answer questions.

9:40 - 10:30 a.m. - Resume paying bills and balancing checkbook. Run a Quicken report to show Calvin how much money we spend on groceries and on going out to eat. Boggle a bit.

10:30 - 11:00 a.m. - Enough of that nonsense. Answer e-mails, place PO's, field phone calls (hi, Calvin!), get annoyed by a new cube neighbor moving into our territory, NOT OF OUR GROUP. Grr.

11:05 a.m. - Stop! Potty time!

11:07 - 11:15 a.m. - Go down to the cafeteria, procure a Caesar salad, stand in the LOOOOOONG line forever as the POS system dials out for each individual credit card transaction. Contemplate that the flow of purchases is faster with cash, in direct contradiction to the current Visa commercials.

11:15 - 11:25 a.m. - Back at my desk, start to eat, phone rings. Chat with Calvin. He tells me things about an FX 40 and a Niagra something and sensors and whatnot. I'm lost.

11:25 a.m. - 12:05 p.m. - Continue eating. Read Bitchypoo. Peruse ICHC. Read Dysfunction Junction. Read Chaos Theory. Check in on Laurell K. Hamilton. Read 6YearMed. Read Because I Said So. Read Crazy Aunt Purl. Read Miss Britt. Determine that I shall use the phrase, "What le fuck?" in the near future. Read Avitable. Read BurtsStache. Pry off my wedding ring, take off my watch, apply hand lotion. Put ring and watch back on. Read Sunday Undies. Update this entry.

12:05 - 12:25 p.m. - Turn, with a sigh, back to the 140 e-mails awaiting response, deletion, and/or categorization in my in-box. Method involves sorting e-mails by subject to group all of the FW's and RE:'s and RE:RE:RE's together to find the latest message in the string, and delete the others. Manage to weed e-mails down to 87 by using this method. Then I start back in chronological order, oldest first, and disseminate as appropriate.

12:25 - 12:30 p.m. - Recall something Calvin mentioned to me, and check Hotmail. See message from Maine Lobster Direct about a deal on live lobsters. Place our Christmas dinner order (6 1-1/4 pounders, 4 lbs of king crab legs) for nearly $80 less than I was expecting.

12:30 - 12:35 p.m. - Update this entry some more.

12:35 - 12:50 p.m. - Do work stuff: run consignment inventory usage report for the last 12 months for one of my suppliers; approve request for new part number to be added to inventory; set up new part number in the stockroom database.

12:50 - 12:55 p.m. - Stop! Potty time! Grab a piece of candy from the dish on the admin's desk on my way back.

12:55 - 1:40 p.m. - Do more work stuff: Check my queue for any purchase orders that need to be placed, find three and submit them; dig out iPod and headphones to combat the boredom ("I believe it's time for me to fly..."); take pain pills to combat the headache I've had since I woke up, curse being a woman; terminate a requisition; ("I've heard people say that... too much of anything is no good for you..."); weed through e-mails some more, enlist a CM's assistance for an issue with a non-responsive supplier; ("Tell me whatcha eat, I might cook for you..."); determine if a discontinued chemical is going to effect the factory; ("Spent my days with a woman unkind... smoked my stuff and drank all my wine..."); request a quote from a vendor for a needed part; ("Welcome to your life... there's no turning back..."); research a vendor payment issue and try to communicate clear instructions in a different way than the clear instructions I sent to them last week; curse Accounts Payable; ("Every time I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer..."); ("You own the money, you control the witness..."); revise the prices on a purchase order; ("Now if you're feelin' kinda low 'bout the dues you been payin'..."); adjust part prices in stockroom database; ("You know what the midwest is? Young and restless...").

1:40 - 1:45 p.m. - Stop! Potty time! Then walk down to the windows and press my nose against the glass before returning to my desk. Contemplate the lack of Vitamin D in my life.

1:45 - 2:25 p.m. - Do more work stuff: ("I can play the guitar like a motherfuckin' riot."); adjust a purchase order; request tracking information for an overdue shipment from a supplier; ("She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force..."); complete a feedback survey for my manager; ("And she won't give up, cuz she's seventeen. She's a frozen fire..."); reconcile an on-time delivery report; ("Far four winds blow, there's trouble and it won't go..."); approve a Level 2 purchase order; ("I got the call today, didn't wanna hear, but I knew that it would come..."); make updates to yet another purchase order; look up status of requested order; ("And here's to you Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know..."); make change to yet ANOTHER PO; ("Well I fight authority, authority always wins..."); research parts in inventory to see if we can share with another site in need; compile shipping memo to share parts; ("Oh what a night, late December back in '63..."); edit a form for a new part request.

2:25 p.m. - E-mail count is now down to 23, eleven of which are in "green flag" status (my code for "waiting for someone to get their thumb out of their butt and respond to me").

2:26 - 2:35 p.m. - Sigh heavily. Update this entry some more. Think about going home early, because, well, feh.

2:35 p.m. - Stop! Potty time! Which strangely coincided with fourteen other women's need to pee.

2:40 - 3:10 p.m. - Decide a mental break is in order. Read Draw the Girl. Read Body of Work. Check ICHC for new pics. Look at pictures of Chuck on Dooce. Go back to where I left off yesterday in my Colloquial archives.

3:10 - 3:15 p.m. - Talk to Calvin on the phone. He's mad at me because he wanted me to make ANOTHER phone call to the title company (we're still trying to get the "free and clear" title for Michael's motorcycle) to find out the status. I've mailed them once, faxed them twice, and had phone conversations with them FIVE different times. So today? I just... didn't. I don't know why, I just didn't do it.

3:15 - 3:45 p.m. - Talk to a manager at the Oregon AcronymCo plant. Discuss a training plan for a new buyer over there. Discuss plans with my manager. Decide upon a series of teleconferences rather than a face-to-face meeting.

3:45 p.m. - Close enough to 4:00. Shut down my computer, grab my stuff, and I'm outta here.

3:45 - 4:10 p.m. - Drive home, again listening to one of the TUS mix CD's. Arrive home, dump my bag on the bed, say hi to Calvin, get run over seven times by Portia saying "Hi! Hi! Hi there! Hi!" Change into comfy clothes.

4:11 p.m. - Lay down for "just a minute" on the very comfy bed.

5:14 p.m. - Wake up with a snort. Zoe prrrrowts in my ear. And touches me on the face with her wet nose. And pat-pats me on my face with her paw.

5:15 - 6:10 p.m. - Go out into the living room, sit on the couch and put Calvin's feet in my lap, tickle his feet while he naps. Watch last week's episode of Bones.

6:11 - 6:15 p.m. - Get a call from Marie about some "weird shape light thingy" lighting up on her dashboard. I have no idea.

6:15 - 7:35 p.m. - Ride the motorcycle over to DarkHorse with Calvin. Have some Moosedrool and some grub. Watch the Suns lose. Watch a couple of poker games going on in front of the bar. Get annoyed by the guy sitting next to us. Pay up and head home again.

7:35 - 9:00 p.m. - Hug Marie for cleaning the kitchen - a task I didn't look forward to doing when I got home. Be amused as she cannot stick with just washing the dishes, but also has to reorganize all of the cupboards and closets. Feed the dogs. Get the mail. Flip through "Cover and Bake" and "Baking Illustrated". Get the coffee ready for tomorrow. Change into my jammies. Sit on the couch typing this while half-watching "Let's Go To Prison". Shut down the snake's and beardies' tanks.

9:00 - 10:00 p.m. - Watch miscellaneous TV. Get Calvin's clothes together for work tomorrow. Put my breakfast and lunch together for tomorrow. Set the alarm. Go to bed.

Labels: home, journal, listy goodness, meme, misc, pets, work

Posted by Laura at 9:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

See previous installment here, which was a little over three years ago. And most things still apply. But I am a very complex woman, ergo you get to know two hundred things about me.

1. I like my eggs over medium. Just right for dipping triangles of toast into the yolk, without grossing myself out with undercooked egg.


2. I like Disney endings. Therefore, any book/TV show/movie/whathaveyou that doesn't have a happy ending, pisses me off.


3. I will not touch any bug, ever. Not to step on, not to slap, not to squish. When I feed the lizards their worms and whatnot, I use the feeding tongs.


4. I only get manicures and pedicures when I'm going on vacation.


5. I love maps. I love looking at them, plotting trips and routes, and putting little flags on them where I've visited. My office walls are lined with maps, which tells people (accurately) that I'd rather be anywhere but my office.


6. I have a very limited amount of patience for stupidity. The amount of time that elapses between my encounter with a stupid person, and my inevitable implosion, decreases with each passing year.


7. I HATE folding laundry. Second to that on the list of top household chores that I hate is cleaning out the vivarium.


8. As long as I have good music to listen to, I have an inexhaustible amount of patience when stuck in traffic.


9. When I was little I used to listen through walls using the old ear-to-glass method. You'd be surprised how well that works. I wouldn't have to resort to spying if my family hadn't kept so many damned secrets.


10. My sister found the notebook I used to scribble my spy-findings in (ala Harriett) between the mattresses of my bed years after I had moved away. She brings it up a lot, there were incriminating things about her in it.


11. I can whistle pretty darned well.


12. Once when I was in my early teens I made a recording of myself singing some Chicago (the band, not the musical) songs. It got into the wrong hands. That ranks as one of my most embarrassing moments.


13. The other most embarrassing moment was the first time I ever farted in front of Calvin. If I recall correctly, I think I cried.


14. As I get older, I regret with more frequency that I do not have a mother.


15. I have never liked Moxie, which in Maine is grounds for deportation.


16. Every time Calvin and I go through an automated car wash I'm tempted to suggest that we hop in the back seat and have sex.


17. I'm good at my job, but I don't particularly like it.


18. I believe in spankings. I do not believe in beatings.


19. The 2008 Presidential Elections will be the first in which I am a registered voter. However, I will still exercise my right not to vote if there are nothing but bozos on the ticket.


20. I would eat a lot healthier if I were single. But I eat a lot funner being married.


21. I totally resent exercise.


22. I have been known to read three entire books in a single day.


23. I ignore the entire world when a new book from one of my favorite authors comes out. Especially if I've been waiting for a long time. I'm looking at YOU, Jean M. Auel.


24. This go around, I'm having a harder time coming up with 100 things than I did last go around.


25. My self-image is probably a lot harsher than reality.


26. I am obsessed with this website.


27. I confess that Calvin and I have gone out and bought a featured booze after seeing it on Three Sheets. The last purchase made thusly was a bottle of Pappy's.


28. I will never understand nor condone the use of watermelon in any soup, hot or cold.


29. I will never understand nor condone the purchase and wearing of Crocs (the original traditional weird ones - they've expanded their product line and have some more acceptable options now).


30. I hate having my toes pulled on.


31. The last time I had to have an IV, I cried a little.


32. I can tolerate watching The Sound of Music, now that I am 22 years beyond performing as Brigitta.


33. If I didn't have my iPod with its noise cancelling headphones, I would have performed a homicide at work by now.


34. Every time I think of it, it still seems weird to me that Patrick Dempsey is from Maine.


35. Garlic salt has replaced all regular salt on my food. There are no circumstances that I have come across where regular salt should be used instead. Except for baking pies, cakes, and cookies, that is.


36. Grandma used to get mad at me for eating all of the sweet peas out of her garden before they ever had a chance to make it to the table.


37. I have always wanted to visit the Puget Sound in Washington.


38. Of all of the foreign countries I could visit, Europe is at the top of my list and Asia is at the bottom. I don't exactly know why that is. The funny thing is, given my job and the company that I work for, I am more likely to go to Asia than I am Europe.


39. I have never been in or near a tornado, but I have nightmares about them.


40. I like strawberries better than blueberries, but I'd rather have blueberry pie than strawberry pie.


41. My favorite kind of pie is coconut cream. NOT meringue.


42. To me, eating meringue is like eating fluffy plastic.


43. I hate the use of the phrase, "without further ado". I mean, READ that. It makes no sense.


44. Lilacs are my favorite flower and scent.


45. I kind of wish that werewolves and vampires were real.


46. If I could have a superpower, I would want the ability to fly. Sometimes I have flying dreams that are so vivid, that when I first wake up I could swear that I could retain the ability while conscious.


47. I'm disappointed that the Storyteller project never really got off the ground.


48. I haven't written a short story since this one. I need to tap into that hobby again.


49. I don't like watching baseball on TV, but I like going to a game. I could say it's because of the beer that I like to go to the ballpark, but I could drink beer at home while watching it on TV, so I don't know. I'm a complex person, I guess.


50. It might make me a bad person, but I have favorites among my pets. I claim the Fifth on that question with respect to my children.


51. I am pro-choice, but would not have an abortion myself.


52. I think someone should take a contract out on Paris Hilton. If it actually happens, well, I saw some kids running...


53. Most weekends I wake up at about 8:00. I can lay there staring up at the ceiling with my brain wandering around (nice visual, that) for over a hour before I finally lever myself out of bed.


54. No matter how hot the summers get (and it gets HOT here), I still want a steaming cup of coffee first thing in the morning. In fact, 'want' doesn't cover it. It's more of a necessity - for me, and everyone who may have to deal with me that day.


55. Some times I contemplate "coming out" on my journal and using my real name. Other times I am quite grateful that not much at all comes up when you Google my real name.


56. Yes, I HAVE vanity Googled. And so have you.


57. Something about car trips makes me need to pee frequently. But I can go all day sitting in my cubicle without having to go once.


58. I don't really like Clint Eastwood. Oh, as a person I'm sure he's a nice guy. I've just never cared for his movies.


59. I bought a guitar in December but I haven't played (with) it very much at all. I have plenty of opportunities to practice, I just... don't.


60. I'm not the only one who thinks that pizza is the universe's answer to the perfect all-in-one food. Meat, dairy, grains, veggies, it's all there.


61. Sometimes I forget to breathe. This is less related to the fact that I have asthma, and more related to the way that I deal with stress. I guess turning blue is part of my process.


62. I have very few friends from my childhood that I still keep in touch with.


63. My favorite color is blue and has been for my entire life.


64. I'm a little bit afraid of my motorcycle. Though it could be more the idiots that are on the roads around here that are scaring me more than my own (lack of) riding ability that is scaring me, I don't know.


65. I didn't plan where my life has ended up thus far. I hope that my lack of planning continues to be this successful.


66. I sleep with three pillows. One to lie on, one to snuggle with, and one to throw on the floor at some point during the night.


67. I used to have a bad recurring nightmare about featureless faces staring in at me through my windows at night, and as a result I can't leave the blinds open after dark.


68. Oz likes Calvin more than he likes me.


69. I have read the "Little House on the Prairie" series entirely through approximately seventeen times. My favorite book was "Farmer Boy".


70. I like Matt Damon infinitely more than Ben Affleck. It seems to me that Matt Damon becomes his characters, while Ben Affleck is just Ben Affleck playing some guy in a movie.


71. Spell check is not working on this entry for some reason, so it will probably be fraught with mistakes and I will be outted as illiterate.


72. A pretty boy is less attractive to me than one that can make me laugh.


73. I like to eat cold Chinese food right from the container with my fingers.


74. I use a file sharing program to download songs to see if I like the song/album/artist. If I do, I usually go out and buy their CD. Using this method, I have far less "listen once and then ignore forever" CD's in my collection.


75. The first time I ever met a black man I told him in complete innocence and earnestness that he had a nice tan. I was six and he was a friend of my sister's. They laughed their asses off while I tried to figure out what was so funny.


76. I am so entrenched in my morning routine that I sometimes stop in the middle of things and can't remember if I completed a step. Case in point, I once shampooed my hair twice because I couldn't remember after I put the conditioner in if I had shampooed first.


77. I have a gun and I know how to shoot it, but I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if I was standing five feet in front of it.


78. I used to go for a long drive when I was upset or angry, doing a circuit of the freeway systems and blasting cathartic tunes. I haven't had to do that in a long time.


79. I DON'T FLOSS. Four out of five dentists lecture me every chance they get.


80. I can remove my bra without taking my shirt off. This magic trick is passed from female to female during the super secret First Bra Ritual.


81. I could never be a school teacher. I don't have the patience. I'm a really cool babysitter, though.


82. I get songs stuck in my mind for DAYS.


83. I hated Taco Bell for years. Now we eat it about once a week. My favorites are the chicken quesadilla and double decker taco supreme.


84. I'm starting to become a fan of Formula One racing.


85. I'm still not a fan of NASCAR.


86. Aimless whistlers are first on my list to take down.


87. Last month I saw Porky's (one AND two) for the first time ever. Calvin was horrified that I had somehow missed this pillar of cinematic genius. He went out and rented the movies the moment I admitted this gap in my cultural upbringing.


88. I used to LIVE for swimming when I was little. Now I can't remember the last time I went swimming. That probably has less to do with any distaste for the act, and more to do with how I look in a bathing suit.


89. I think text messaging is dumb. And not just because I am extraordinarily bad at it.


90. I would totally have sex with the guy that invented blue jeans.


91. I know every word of every song on WHAM!'s "Make It Big" album.


92. The first record (RECORD, as in vinyl) I ever bought was the "Footloose" album. Or was it Michael Jackson's "Thriller"? One of those.


93. When I was a teenager, my bedroom walls were papered with horse posters, and my locker was lined with posters of Johnny Depp and Richard Greco.


94. I have flip flops for every occasion.


95. I can't wear lipstick. It drives me nuts.


96. Some people's ring tones make me want to shove their cell phones... where the sun doesn't shine.


97. I probably inspire that feeling in others. My current ring tone is "Dancing Queen".


98. If I sat on my hands I wouldn't be able to talk.


99. My worst habit is interrupting people when they're speaking. That's mostly because if I don't speak the thought right as it comes to me, I'll forget what I wanted to say.


100. I'll probably try this exercise again in another three years. I'll still be blogging, you bet your bippy.

Labels: blogthings, journal, meme

Posted by Laura at 8:49 PM | Permalink | Comments

001. When was your last kiss? Um? Yesterday? Hey, I'm gonna fix that right this second.

002. Do you have a pet? Two dogs, one cat (although really the cat has us), three lizards, one snake.

003. What are you dreading right now? My doctor's appointment on Monday.

004. Do you celebrate 4/20? Only in the way that I celebrate the 20th of any month. Except July. That's my birthday. Usually, I celebrate it by having my gallbladder removed. Or my wisdom teeth. Or some other needless part of my anatomy. This year? I'm betting on my appendix.

005. Only child? I have a half-sister who is 10 years older than me. I've been the "only child" in the household since I was six. Now? I'm the only grown-up.

006. Favorite ice cream? It depends on my mood. Sometimes I like plain ol' vanilla, other times I'm feeling complicated like Mocha Almond Fudge, and yet other times I just jones for chocolate. Then there's this Italian gelato place nearby and I always get half chocolate and half coconut.

007. When was your last doctors visit? Yesterday. And the day before that was the ER. And the day before that was the medical imaging center for a CT scan. And the day before THAT was my PCP. Today is the only day this week that I haven't gone somewhere medical.

008. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? Yes. Sometimes more. Lately, a LOT more.

009. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Exactly 40 minutes.

010. “First Loves Are Never Over;” is this true for you? FUCK no. In fact, "Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you."

011. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back? See #10.

012. What if someone came to your house on your “lazy day”? That's pretty much the only time they'd find anyone home.

013. Do you talk to loved ones and friends graves? I'm an entire country away from the graves of my loved ones.

014. Have you ever been on your schools track team? BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Oh, my sides.

015. Do you own a pair of Converse? Actually? Yes.

016. Who did you copy and paste this survey from? From Bitchypoo.

017. Do you eat raw cookie dough? Why? Do you have some?

018. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? Shaken, not kicked.

019. Don’t you hate when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? I love it for the first few weeks, and then I start to get tired of it.

020. Would you rather them play the whole video or just a clip? The whole video.

021. Do you watch Trading Spaces? Once upon a time, but it got old.

022. How do you eat oreos? Split 'em, eat the frosting off one side, eat that wafer, then eat the other wafer.

023. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone to sign on? No.

024. Are you cocky? It ain't braggin' motherfucker if you back it up.

030. Could you live without a computer? No. No no no no no.

031. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No, I take them off as soon as I get home.

033. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? I don't remember. Six, maybe?

034. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? Four cell phones, three house phones.

035. What do you do when you’re sad? Cry, and listen to my "Let's Be Depressed!" mix.

036. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? Assuming Calvin wasn't right there when we found out? Umm... probably my sister? Calvin's sister? His mom? I don't know, I think I'd just stand in place and shake for a while.

037. Last time you saw your best friend? He's sitting right here; or else, Heather just left last week.

038. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Right now, I just want to be healthy.

039. Last movie you rented? Via Netflix, Little Miss Sunshine, and Season One of Battlestar Galactica.

040. Who/what sleeps with you every night? Calvin and Oz.

041. Are you/have you ever been in love? Yes.

042. Pancakes or french toast? Pancakes.

043. How do you like your eggs? Over medium with triangles of toast to poke at the yokes and sop 'em up. With worcestershire.

045. Is anyone on your bad side right now? Not really.

046. What jewelry are you wearing? My wedding ring.

047. What’s the first thing you do when you get online? Check my emails.

048. Do you own any TV seasons on DVD? Grey's Anatomy Season 1, The OC Season 1, Sex and the City Season 1.

049. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? If watch = obsess.

050. How do most people spell your name? Most people call me a different name altogether.

051. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? I wear Calvin's shirts and sweaters all the time.

054. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares? Children of the Corn. Ugh.

055 Who’s your favorite celebrity couple? I HATE celebrity couples.

056. Favorite 80’s teen movie? Ferris Beauller's Day Off.

057. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? Why, did you hear anything about him molesting little boys?

058. Do you know someone that wasn’t born in the United States? I know many people that weren't born in the US. AcronymCo is as multinational as a company gets.

059. Favorite name for a boy? Hey, kid.

060. Will you keep your last name when you get married? I didn’t, either time.

061. Your favorite restaurant that you don’t get to eat at much? Luke's. They serve the best Italian beef sandwiches and greasy fries EVER.

065. Have you ever cursed at a teacher or a boss? BWAAAHAHAHAH!

066. How do you eat your steak? Medium with A-1.

068. How do you get to school? On-line.

069. Do you have a dishwasher? Yes, and two backup dishwashers called Marie and Michael.

071. Would you survive in prison? Sure, I'd become the main bitch right away. Oh HELL no, I'm all kinds of a wimp.

072. Next concert you hope to go to? I don't know, I haven't perused Ticketmaster in a while.

073. What was the last thing you ate? Pepto.

075. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Calvin.

075. Who is the youngest in your family? Me.

076. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be left there? Whoever was wasted the night before.

077. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? A couple, yes.

078. How many syllables does your name have? Three.

079. What does your license plate say? Like I'm going to tell you, stalker! It's a line out of a Josh Groban song, though.

080. When is the last time you ate peanut butter? Last week?

081. What service is your cell phone? T-Mobile.

082. When’s the last time you ran? Is that a joke?

083. What’s the last thing you purchased? Pizza from Domino's.

084. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

085. Where is your cellphone? In my purse in the bedroom. Which is why I never hear it when Heather calls me.

086. Is your phone on vibrate or ring? Ringtone, "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" by Fallout Boy.

087. What brand is your trousers right now? Old Navy jammies.

088. Ever been to Vegas? No, and every time I mention that to someone they say, "You've NEVER been to VEGAS?!?" As if I said, "I never brush my teeth."

089. Did you have breakfast this morning? Yes, Calvin made me scrambled eggs and toast.

090. Do you like marshmallows? Sparingly, in hot chocolate or smores, or on Calvin's sister's yams. Heh. That sounds kind of dirty, doesn't it?

091. What irritates you most on the internet? Popups.

092. What brand is your digital camera? Sony.

093. Do you watch movies with your parents? I used to with Grandma.

094. Do you wear short shorts? BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Damn, this survey is funny.

096. What song best describes your life right now? "Bitter Song" by Butterfly Boucher.

097 Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? Not expensive, no. Marie tends to get me stuff from Vicky's Secret, and Calvin got me a bottle of Happy last Christmas.

098. Are you taking college classes right now? No, but probably soon.

099. Who are you dating right now? Patrick Dempsey.

100. Do your parents know you curse? The first time I ever cursed in my life was when I was about six, in front of my aunt and uncle. My aunt looked at my uncle and said, "Yep, she's one of ours."

101. Do you like sushi? LOVE the sushi.

102. Do you get your hair cut every month? Every few months or so.

103. Do you go online everyday? When I'm not sick, yes.

104. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? A few pairs do.

105. If you could look like any family member, dead or living, who would it be? I've been told I look like my mother and my grandmother.

Labels: boredom, meme

Posted by Laura at 8:27 PM | Permalink | Comments

I find it amusing that, according to the personality test that I posted in the last entry, I scored the same (63%) on "religious" and "hedonism". I clicked on the hyperlinked definitions for each category, and this is what they have to say (I bolded those things that I particularly agree with):

Hedonism: willing to break the law if the monetary benefit is great enough, likes tattoos, likes strip clubs, prone to substance abuse, prone to shoplifting, thinks marijuana should be legalized, not opposed to breaking laws, promiscuous, prone to cheat in relationships, kinky, likes to dress provocatively, believes pleasure should play a central role in life, can be crude, believes religion is foolish (author's note: um, then why the same score on "religious"?), does not worry about consequences of actions, addictive tendencies, more a night person than a day person, erotic, more likely to have been on anti-depressants, gets attention through negative behavior, reckless with money, prone to nihilism (author's note: I had to look that up, it means 1. total rejection of established laws and institutions. 2. anarchy, terrorism, or other revolutionary activity), unpredictable, self destructive

Religious: closest confident is a Higher Power, has more belief than doubt, prefers to let religion not themself decide the meaning of their life, opposed to strip clubs (author's note: HAH!), believes that life is meaningful, reveres holidays and traditions, considers themself very spiritual, more likely to be politically conservative, opposed to euthanasia, fears being corrupt or evil, old fashioned, thinks abortion should be outlawed, has faith things will work out, would sacrifice their life for a good enough cause, caring, honest, generous, prude, modest, drawn to public service, purposeful

Apparently, I am conflicted and I didn't even know it.

Labels: meme

Posted by Laura at 10:10 AM | Permalink | Comments

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..

Orderliness results were high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:

clean, likes large parties, outgoing, makes friends easily, optimistic, positive, social, high self control, traditional, assertive, rarely irritated, self revealing, open, finisher, high self concept, controlling, rarely worries, tough, likes to stand out, does not like to be alone, semi neat freak, fearless, dominant, trusting, organized, resolute, strong, practical, craves attention, adventurous, hard working, respects authority, brutally honest, realist, altruistic

Labels: blogkeeping, meme

Posted by Laura at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments

Stolen from Ed Kaz, whose answers I couldn't improve upon if I tried, and so I won't. Here is my humble rendition.

1. Post a picture that is worth a 1000 words.


Courtesy of Born Rich.

2. Do you have a secret blog and if so why? If not, why not?

A secret blog is tempting, so I can write the truth about all of the people I can't write the truth about here. Heh. Got you thinking that YOU'RE one of them, huh? Psyche your mind!

3. Write out three wishes for other people and say why you wish those things.

I wish Jerry Springer's "guests" would just stop fucking their cousins.
I wish the Arizona Cardinals would get their act together.
I wish George Bush would consider a lobotomy.

4. If you had to make something with a grapefruit and two rubber bands what would it be?

Forget snakes! That's a wicked way to take out terrorists on an airplane.

(Heh. I used "George Bush" and "terrorists" and "airplane", I wonder how long it will take the CIA to search this site?)

5. Did you ever practice french kissing, and if so, on what, or how?

Yes, on a boy, and we worked on it until we got it right.

6. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten?

Haggis. I was forced.

7. What is the most feminine (if you are a man) or masculine (if you are a woman) thing about you?

Apparently, the way I walk.

8. If you have pets, what are their names, and what inspired you to name them that?

Oz - after the character on Buffy (much as the family likes to think it's after Mr. Osbourne)
Gadget - he's tiny, he's tuny, he's just a little loony. Small dogs call for names that call small things to mind, I guess.
Gypsy - I just always knew I'd name a beagle Gypsy if I ever had one
Cheeto - because he's got coloring under his chin that looks like Cheeto dust
Lucy - after two of my favorite characters; "While You Were Sleeping", "50 First Dates". Because we originally thought she was sweet (well, for a lizard). Natch.
Water Dragon - umm... we still haven't named it.
Kali - I don't know why Marie named the snake thusly.

9. Write a three line story about a time you were caught doing something wrong.

I didn't do it.
Nobody saw me do it.
You can't prove anything.

10. Using roughly 50 words, say nothing.

curmudgeon, lackadaisical, monstrosity, blank, forgo, pontificate, tiny, fabricate, ostentatious, placebo, guile, knickerbocker, rant, fade, masquerade, platform, zodiac, verily, toothsome, tallywacker, pillowcase, fern, hungry, probability, zounds, heretofore, onomatopoeia, flummox, recalcitrant, lascivious, perfidy, ancillary, paper, bulbous, concentrate, dome, feathers, mathematician, tchotchke, contemporaneous, morose, fantasy, petal, ceramic, hottentot, purple, franchise, kitchen, ineffectual, draconian.

11. Tell us about the worst job you've ever had.

Drive thru chickie at Burger King. In Maine. During the winter.

12. Create a new breed of human. What does it look like? What does it do? How does it procreate?

It can fly, live entirely off of junk food, and procreate just the same way we do now, cuz I can't think of any better way to do it!

13. What do you think is the biggest threat to humanity right now?

Indifference.
Kevin Federline.
Mentos commercials.

14. Tell us about what your dream job would be.

Patrick Dempsey's wardrobe assistant.

15. Who is the last person you wanted to kiss?

Wanted as in I did, but didn't want to? All of my barley-water-and-moth-ball-smelling relatives when I was a kid.

16. How do you eat an oreo?

Twist it apart, eat the naked side first in one bite, then bite the other side in half, masticate, swallow, repeat with other half.

17. What would you say is your defining characteristic?

My sunny nature and outgoing personality. Bastids.

18. What is your cause?

For everyone to completely understand and come to cherish the wonders that are Funions.

19. Link one site that you have found that is useful or that makes you laugh

USEFUL

MAKES ME LAUGH

Labels: blogthings, meme

Posted by Laura at 5:49 PM | Permalink | Comments

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Labels: blogthings, meme

Posted by Laura at 5:32 PM | Permalink | Comments

Stolen from Jen. I was surprised at a) how many I've read; and b) some of the books that made the list.

-------------------

You know the game. Bold ones you’ve read, strike out any you didn’t finish or thought were awful.

The BBC's "Big Read" - Top 200 best books as voted by BBC viewers: http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/bigread/

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie

Also:

According to British Librarians - Top 30 Books to Read Before You Die: http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,1721526,00.html

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Bible
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by JRR Tolkien
1984 by George Orwell
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
All Quite on the Western Front by E M Remarque
His Dark Materials Trilogy by Phillip Pullman
Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
Tess of the D'urbevilles by Thomas Hardy
Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Middlemarch by George Eliot
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzenhitsyn

Labels: books, meme

Posted by Laura at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments

I've posted a few new pics over on Flickr, and I've begun listing the books I've read this year on the sidebar - scroll down below my "things" under "Stuff". Thanks to Jen and the 50 book challenge community over at LiveJournal for the idea!

Labels: blogthings, books, meme

Posted by Laura at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

Labels: blogthings, meme

Posted by Laura at 2:35 PM | Permalink | Comments

Stolen from Robyn.

1. What does your cell phone look like?
It's blue. It's a Motorola SomethingMumble. It can take pictures. It has a time display on the cover, and when you flip it open it's got buttons that are actually big enough to push. Recently downloaded ringtones include Dancing Queen, How to Save a Life, All These Things That I've Done, Brown Eyed Girl, Gel, Golddigger, the Hogwarts Hymn, the Monday Night Football theme (current setting), Steal My Sunshine, and You're Beautiful.

2. Do you know what time you were born?
No clue. It doesn't even say on my birth certificate.

3. What do you want more than anything right now?
Strangely, I can't think of anything material I want right now. I'm usually all full of Want Disease. I guess that means I'm blessed! Oh, wait. I know. "World peace."

4. What do you miss?
Italian Sandwiches from Maine.

5. Hot Dogs or Hamburgers?
Burgers. Huge 1/3 pound mothers on a potato bun with ketchup, mustard, relish, onion, and banana pepper slices. And cheese. Two kinds. But I do love a good hot dog. With sauerkraut. Oh, hell. It's rare that I find a food that I don't like.

6. Do you get scared in the dark?
Nope. I love the dark.

7. The last person to make you cry?
You guys are going to laugh, and I totally take NO responsibility. It's the drugs, or lack thereof. Seriously. I was watching the CMT countdown of 100 greatest love songs of all time. Number one was Dolly Parton's (Pardon's?) "I Will Always Love You". She performed it live on the show. And I got teary. It's all Dolly's fault. And the meds. Yeah. I went into the bedroom all bawling and made Calvin give me a hug. He must've thought I was a lunatic.

8. Hair/Eye color you prefer on opposite sex?
Man, I can't say anything other than blonde hair and green eyes, and you know it. I know which side my bread's buttered.

9. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
Lobster. Lobster stew. Any kind of seafood, really. (I happened to leave Robyn's original answer intact, conveniently enough. And we get to have our traditional lobster dinner on the 23rd! Woo!)

10. Who is the last person who was mad at you?
Oh hell, probably Calvin. Now ask me if I deserved it.

11. Do you speak another language?
Sometimes it feels like it.

12. What was the first gift anyone ever got you?
Uh? The first one I really *remember* is the doll house my mother gave me for Christmas when I was five? Six? Seven? Somewhere around there. Her boyfriend built it and put the same wallpapers in the rooms that were in the rooms in our house. It was two stories and the front was hinged to open out, and the roof was hinged to open up. There was truly beautiful dollhouse furniture for each room - a tiny cast iron stove with actual grates that lifted up and an oven that opened, eeny dishes and cups and saucers, bunk beds for the kids, a canopy bed for the parents' room, a player piano for the living room that wound up and played "The Entertainer", tiny woven throw rugs for each room, a toilet with a tank above and a pull-chain, a roll-top desk with a top that really rolled open, complete with tiny drawers and compartments, and a ton of other things. Man, I wish I still had that doll house. It was destroyed in a house fire shortly after my sister inherited my mother's house after her death.

13. Would you fall in love with someone knowing they were taken?
That happened to me only once in my life. It worked out really well, but I wouldn't recommend it, and I surely wouldn't do it again. I never told you guys I was in love with Calvin (and he with me) while we were both married to other people, did I? Another (long) story for another time.

14. Best way to tell someone how much they mean to you?
"I... will alllllways... loooove yoooouuu...."

15. Your Weaknesses?
I have a list. Salt and vinegar potato chips. Chocolate milk. Kittens. Baby bearded dragons. My temper. My body. My lungs. Laziness. I'm a very flawed individual.

16. Ever done a prank call?
Oh God, forever ago. I was in 8th grade (hm. I guess that makes it less "forever ago" and more "nineteen years ago". So, yeah, forever ago), and my best friend and I called a boy we liked and pretended to be someone else.

17. If you could get plastic surgery, what would it be?
A nose job, and lypo.

18. What do you get complimented about the most?
Calvin often compliments me on how soft my skin is. People seem to love my meatloaf, and our kitchen calendar that has the meals planned out for the week or month. A co-worker complimented me on how "homey" my cubicle is.

19. What do you want for your birthday?
Anything on my Amazon wish list.

20. How many kids do you want?
Dear God, no more. Please, make the lambs stop screaming.

21. Do you wish on stars?
Stars? Whut are them? All we see in the Phoenix night sky is SMOG.

22. Which finger/s is/are your favorite?
What an odd question. Heh. My middle fingers on each hand. Especially when used simultaneously to salute a deserving soul. Oh, and opposable thumbs are useful, too.

23. When did you last cry?
During that Dolly thing.

24. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf?
Oh, I don't know. Abba?

25. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?
Yeah, I'm pretty cool.

26. Have you ever told a secret you swore never to tell?
I can't think of any secrets anyone has told me.

27. Do looks matter?
In people? No. In cars? Yes. In food? Mostly. In the male cast members of Grey's Anatomy? Abso-fuckin-lutely.

28. How do you release your anger?
Swear profusely. Listen to loud music. Go for a drive. Usually all three at once. Alternately, I drive off a cliff with a groundhog.

29. Do you trust people too easily?
Probably. I've been told that I do.

30. Favorite toy as a child?
My velveteen rabbit. Or, the aforementioned dollhouse.

31. Where were you 6 hours ago?
In bed. Which answer also works well on fortune cookies.

32. Who will be your next kiss?
Calvin. Hopefully with a little tongue action.

33. Anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Huh! As it happens, no.

34. What are you wearing right now?
Calvin's black pullover sweatshirt, blue jeans, white socks, black loafers. Oh, and a new bra that I got at Vicky's on Wednesday. Heh.

35. Last sporting event you watched?
The Suns game a couple of nights ago.

36. What is/was your favorite class?
The 'World Culture and the Arts' class I took several years ago.

37. How old are your parents?
Abort Retry Fail

38. Do you miss anyone?
Grammy. Lanie, Robert, Devlin, and Roman. My sister. Heather.

39. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Please see here.

40. What do you know about the future?
I will laugh. I will cry. It will become a part of me.

41. Do you have a tan?
Oh, hell no. I wish.

42. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
See #20.

43. Last time you got stopped or pulled over by an officer?
Um? It was on Father's Day several years ago, coming home from Calvin's mom's restaurant. Speeding ticket, going 55 in a 40.

44. How do you like your drinks?
Alcoholic. In large quantities.

45. Are you someone's best friend?
I hope so!

Labels: meme

Posted by Laura at 9:36 AM | Permalink | Comments