339 = the number of e-mails awaiting me when I logged in for work this morning. I guess when you divide that number by the number of days it's been since I've been at work (16), that's only 21 messages per day. I'll be gosh-darned if I'm going to log in on my vacation just to maintain my e-mails, though. Sixteen days of blissful ignorance is worth the three or four hours it's going to take me to plow through these and weed out the urgent ones.

I spent two hours yesterday picking up land mines in the back yard (I swear I'm going to stop feeding those dogs), then scrubbing out, rinsing, and re-filling the hot tub (it's been empty since shortly after Thanksgiving). Now I need the hot tub to relax the muscles in my back that are screaming because of yesterday's activities.

It's been raining off and on since last night, and the northern elevations are getting snow like gangbusters. We will probably do some in-state skiing in the coming weekends. And then need the hot tub again. Because we are old and out of shape and skiing is a young, shapely person's sport. Yet, we are game. And perhaps foolish.

Today's Manic Monday activities include: work (natch), laundry, grocery shopping at two different stores, picking up critters for the critters, picking up prescriptions, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the cat closet, taking back the rental movies, and working out. Aaaaand soaking in the hot tub.

Calvin and I went to see the new National Treasure movie. It was fun, historically inaccurate, and highly improbable. We did not go to see a history lesson, however, and so we enjoyed.

My husband and I now know what we want to be when we grow up. Bartenders. We shall sell and get out of Arizona, buy a condo or loft in the Old Port in Portland, Maine, and get jobs within walking distance as bartenders. You'd all be shocked at how completely serious we are about this. We even have a bartendress friend at our oft-visited local that is willing to teach us the ropes. At the end of this year, or the beginning of next, we shall begin to make plans in earnest. We're just waiting for the housing market to turn back around so we can get enough equity out of our property.

Finally, I am determined to lose thirty pounds. My plan is to eat 1000 calories Monday through Friday (easing up but not going overboard on the weekends), work out six days a week, and finally do something about this nonsense. I'm serious this time. No, really. I'll stand on the scale in front of Calvin if I have to in order to kick myself in my own ass and get some motivation.

For crying out loud.

Labels: goals, journal, movies, Op:Goddess, work

Posted by Laura at 8:44 AM | Permalink | Comments

I still haven't heard from that company in Maine. Motherfuckers.

I am shocked and a little awed (after having just balanced the checkbook and paid the bills) at the sheer amount of money we spend going out to eat. If we could just STOP DOING THAT, this paycheck-to-paycheck bidness could probably end. But going out to eat is not only the procurement of necessary nourishment - it is a form of entertainment for us. Mostly me. Clearly we need to find other ways to entertain ourselves. Ways that don't involve spending money.

I am a very outdoorsy person, normally, but it impossible to do outdoor-type-entertainment things in Arizona in the summertime. And yet? I still see joggers out there, every afternoon when the temperature is at its 116-fuck-degree hottest. And I ponder to myself: what unpronounceable mental condition do these people possess? Or is it a physical problem (also unpronounceable) that prevents people from feeling the heat (Googling... hold please... Familial Dysautonomia)? I can understand the need to get/remain fit. I can even somewhat wrap my brain around the thought that some people in fact enjoy running. But nothing in the world can make me comprehend the reasoning behind running in July in Arizona. That's just all full of The Crazy.

(Channelling Dawn, with whom I have been exchanging some EPIC e-mails this week.)

Remember how last weekend I said that Calvin and I were going to spend the entire weekend clearing out the garage and moving a bunch of stuff from the house and garage into the newly-obtained storage unit? Yeah. Well. We went as far as to take a trip to Home Depot on Saturday to acquire some storage containers. And Calvin purchased and put together a fan and attachments to make a mister to run in the garage during said cleaning out activity.

That's as far as we got. Seriously. We showered, napped, and sat on the couch watching movies. For the rest of the day on Saturday, and ALL DAY Sunday. We didn't do one damn useful thing at all. And felt really guilty about it. So this weekend we have renewed our motivation to accomplish the shitload of shit we need to get done. I have a list. It is long.

And now, a list of the movies that Calvin and I have used to distract ourselves from the guilt of not accomplishing anything:

Catch and Release - Starring Jennifer Garner and Timothy Olyphant. Cute enough. Decent, even. The dead guy pissed me off, but it ended good. I shall purchase the soundtrack.

Fur - Starring Nichole Kidman and Robert Downey Jr. What a freaking WEIRD movie. Normally I LOVE anything RDJr is in, but this one? Just weird, nothing else.

Zoom - Academy for Superheroes - Starring Tim Allen and Courtney Cox. Calvin picked this one out, it's his fault. DUMB.

Tourista - Starring nameless B-rate actors. Calvin watched this one while I read a book. And when it came to the underwater scene, I took my book into the bedroom. I don't like horror movies, and I can't STAND scenes where people are trapped underwater. GAH.

Shooter - Starring Mark Wahlberg. Decent, though with much pointless violence. It was interesting to see Danny Glover play the bad guy.

Blood Diamond - Starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Connelly. I still don't much like Leo. Plus there was A LOT of pointless violence in this one... which I guess accurately depicted the conditions of that part of Africa in the 90's.

Black Snake Moan - Starring Christina Ricci and Samuel L. Jackson. Certainly not what I expected, though I don't think I had expectations of this movie. It was decent. I still think Christina looks like one of the aliens from Mars Attacks!, though. Creepy.

Music and Lyrics - Starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. Very cute. I couldn't get the final song out of my head for days.

Bridge to Terabithia - Not what I expected, I thought it was going to be far more fanciful and far less literal. A good movie, though it struck a VERY STRONG chord because the similarities with what happened to Brad. Right down to the dog, for crying out loud.

The Devil Wears Prada - Starring Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway (with a minor role by our favorite, Stanley Tucci - I WISH they would put him on Grey's Anatomy). Saccharine and cute. Anne Hathaway does well dressed ala Audrey Hepburn, circa "Sabrina" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's".

And finally, Battlestar Galactica, seasons one and two. We've been getting the discs via Netflix since late March/early April, and just finished the last disc of season two last week. I am anxiously awaiting season three to come out, so I can watch it before season four starts on TV in November. What a great series. Calvin and I are both really enjoying it. Though the use of "frack" is really starting to get annoying. Also annoying, the last three or four episodes - Lee went from Captain to Commander in, like, two and a half episodes; Starbuck's trip to Caprica to rescue the rebels was very abbreviated, topped off by a bullshit message from the Cylons that they "made a mistake" by practically wiping out humanity; they elected a new president, found a planet, inhabited it for over a year, and were invaded by Cylons in one episode.

They never jumped around in time like that before, and they never hurried the storyline so much before. It makes me wonder why executives make decisions to mess with the story like that.

As far as summer television goes, everyone knows that it is The Suck. Calvin and I just end up watching reruns of sit-coms, comedians on the Comedy Channel, whatever's running on HBO (if we watch "Over the Hedge" one more time...), whatever's on the Discovery Channel, and hours upon HOURS of WWII documentaries (Calvin's a buff) on the History and/or Military channel. However, we have started watching episodes of "Kathy Griffin - My Life on the D List" (on Bravo? E!? Some cable channel...), and I've got to say, that woman CRACKS ME UP. She dines upon her foot with hysterical frequency, puts herself out there CONSTANTLY for judgement and ridicule, and doesn't give a SHIT. It's awesome. I want to grow up to be just like her.

Dear Lord, in reading back through this entry, it is very VERY obvious that Calvin and I need to put some meaning back into our leisure time.

Labels: food, goals, home, journal, movies, TV

Posted by Laura at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments

Hey you guys, thanks to all the folks who have been leaving me such nice comments and sending me such nice e-mails, wishing me well on my upcoming interview. I'm trying not to mind-frack (heh, been watching BSG) myself over this, but it's hard.

I'm torn. Almost exactly half of me wants them to make an offer I can accept, and almost exactly half of me hopes they don't make an offer. If I get the offer, Calvin and I will be plunged into a whirlwind of departure prep, up to and including getting the house ready for sale. We would have to live apart for an undetermined amount of time. BUT we would finally have a foothold in Maine, which is where I've wanted to be for, oh, 14 YEARS.

If they don't make an offer, Calvin and I are free to make a more controlled exit from Arizona. We can continue to pay down our debt, fix the house up in a more leisurely manner, and then job hunt when we're more prepared to make a move.

I applied to that job on a whim, not really figuring that anything would come of it. So I guess if something does come of it, it was "meant to be".

It's nerve wracking, though.

Labels: goals, headspace, Maine, work

Posted by Laura at 1:33 PM | Permalink | Comments

The company in Maine that I did a phone interview with a couple of weeks ago just called me. They want to fly me out next week, put me up in a hotel with a rental car, pay for my meals, take me out to lunch and dinner, have me interview with their muckety mucks, meet the people that would be reporting to me should they decide to offer me the job, and take me on a tour of their properties.

I just dropped Calvin off at the airport - he's doing some training in Texas all this week and is back on Friday. MAN, he needs to land RIGHT NOW so I can talk to him about this.

Once again, the word of the day is, "Eeep".

Labels: goals, Maine, work

Posted by Laura at 12:45 PM | Permalink | Comments

My ability to cope seems to have taken a hiatus today. I'm stressy - the stressors are no different today than they were yesterday, but for some reason they're on my conscious mind today and messing with me.

I had a job interview over the phone with a company in Maine this morning. It went well, I think... they like it when you ask them questions instead of abandoning the interview as soon as the, "Tell me about a time when..." questions are over with. Conversely, the success of the interview started me worrying - what if they actually offer me a job and the compensation is enough to make it worth our while to move to Maine? Will we be able to sell the house? What will the kids do? Should I leave AcronymCo with my tenure and four weeks of vacation a year and another sabbatical coming up in two years? Will Calvin be able to find a job? Will he want to kill himself (or me) halfway through the first winter? Will convenient access to J's Oysters be enough to compensate for that? Will we have to live apart for an undetermined amount of time??? God forbid on that one.

Did you know that acid reflux feels remarkably similar to anxiety? I just took a Rolaids (I've been living off of 'em, and Tums, and Mylanta, and Pepto...), and I have another appointment with the doc the first week of June. So is my physical discomfort causing my stressy feeling, or is my stressy feeling causing my physical discomfort? ("Yes.")

One at a time, the things I'm stressing over are not hugely urgent. But together for some reason they feel like they're taking me over. And it's not like they're unresolvable, panic-inducing concerns. I'm just being a BDB (that's Big Damn Baby) today.

Problem: The house is a complete disaster.
Solution: Clean it until it is clean.

Problem: The truck is still in the shop.
Solution: I have a rental car, so I am still mobile. And the truck's under warranty.

Problem: The kids (well, Michael primarily) have not left the nest.
Solution: Have a serious discussion with them (him) tonight about what their (his) plans are.

Problem: There are many things we need to do to the house to prep it for potential sale.
Solution: Get a storage unit this weekend and get started offloading the clutter. Make a list of all the stuff that needs to get done.

Problem: My health.
Solution: Doc's appointments next week and the week following, plus a renewed (again!) determination to eat better and exercise regularly. Until I give up again next week.

Problem: The sprinkler/drip system is on the fritz.
Solution: I have contacted our landscaper to get us a new control box.

Problem: We (I) are (am) still conflicted about moving, jobs, staying, going... will we progress or will uprooting ourselves send us into a spiralling descent into destruction that will leave us having to work for the rest of our lives?
Solution: Beer.

Labels: goals, headspace, journal

Posted by Laura at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comments

In prep for our anticipated travels of this year, Calvin and I finally bought a digital SLR camera. This one, to be specific. Not one of the snazzy Nikon D-whatevers that I am jealous of Dooce over. We really only need a mid-price mid-capability camera, since we're not exactly pro's, nor are we photo-prolific.

Though this thing is so whizzy-bang, that might change.

Another reason we chose the Canon is because we have a couple of 35mm film Canons, with a couple of different lenses. Which are compatible with our new camera. Thus saving us hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars on new lenses. We don't have a macro lens, though, which will be the next indulgence.

There will be experimenting, and there will be successes and failures, and you will be the (un)willing recipients of it all! First is to teach myself how to do this.

I'm looking for good recommendations on digital photography books and websites, because y'all know how much momma lubs her research. So comment or drop me a line, thanks!

Labels: best things, goals, photography

Posted by Laura at 7:19 PM | Permalink | Comments

One year ago today I listed all of the things (that I could think of) that I want to do on my 43 Things account. Today I got the reminder message for those things I set to "remind me in one year".

1. Own all the seasons of Buffy. Okay, so this one keeps getting put off. Every time I go to make an Amazon purchase, this gets reprioritized and something else gets bought. Some day my Buffy jones will overcome my need for anything else.

2. Go to Ireland. This one I've actually made a little progress on. I bought a couple of Frommers-type guides and the tentative plan is to add Ireland to the "European Tour" during my next sabbatical in 2009. (DUDE. That's in two years. Where does the time go?? Seems like we were JUST in Hawaii.)

3. Learn how to scuba dive. Dude (why do I keep using this word?), I haven't even seen the ocean since we went to Canada, and them's cold waters to be learning to scuba in. I'll get to it, some day.

4. Learn how to snowboard. Again, the last chance I had was when we were in Whistler, and then there was no snow on which to learn. So we drank, instead.

5. Visit Westminster Abbey. See #2.

6. Write a book. While, quantity-wise, I write enough to fill a book, I haven't actually written anything linear enough for long enough to suit a book format. Perhaps I will actually try NaNoWriMo this year, instead of just contemplating it and then deciding not to, like I have done every other year.

7. Get out of debt. This one's doing pretty good, actually. Barring some budgetary slips during which we are less like slipping and more like ignoring, we make measurable progress every month.

8. Learn how to play the piano. When I bought my guitar I was going to pick up a keyboard to learn on, too, but I thought better of it. Good thing too, judging by the amount I actually practice on my guitar.

9. Own horses. Yeah, this is less like a "goal" and more like a "dream". Seems every year I get further and further away from realizing this one. I just never imagined when I sold my last horse that I would never have one ever again. I figured it would be a couple of years, tops. Here it is, SIXTEEN years later. My God, has it really been that long? How have I survived???

10. Simplify my life. Barring some family and health drama, my life is actually fairly uncomplicated. Calvin and I are terrific, the job is going well if busy, and our routine runs as smoothly as can be expected.

11. Buy a Nikon D70. I was just thinking about this the other day. Since we're doing some travelling this year, it would be nice to have a new camera. And the price of these has come down now that it's not the most wizzy-bang thing out there anymore.

12. Lose weight. Feh.

13. Drive the Pacific Coast Highway. Well, we'll be in Oregon in July and we're planning on hitting the coast as part of our trip. So while that's not the Monterey-to-Vancouver BC drive that we wanted to take, it's something.

14. Move to Maine. We're going to Maine (two weeks from today! WOO!), but not moving. I think I'd have to work REAL hard to convince Calvin to do that. And I have, and I am, and I will, but Oregon is probably more logical. Still, hope springs eternal and all that.

Labels: goals, journal

Posted by Laura at 9:34 AM | Permalink | Comments