Sunday, November 11, 2007

More fun with the pause button!

It wasn't that long ago that Calvin and I discovered the "vanity cards" that appear at the end of Chuck Lorre Productions television shows (such as Two and a Half Men), for like a half a second. We've been pausing the TV and reading them, and now I've found the archive.

Ahh, the things that entertain us.

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Friday, October 12, 2007

Oh the mundanity.

Today I discovered that it takes fifty-three minutes and forty-three seconds on the elliptical machine at an average heart rate of 155 beats per minute to burn five hundred calories.

The final television lineup looks like this: Sunday - Californication. Monday - usually occupied watching DVR'd shows. Tuesday - How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, Bones, Reaper (the jury is still out on Journeyman). Wednesday - Private Practice, Pushing Daisies. Thursday - Grey's Anatomy, CSI (the jury is still out on Big Shots). Friday - the jury is still out on Moonlight. When they start up again I will still watch Battlestar Galactica and Medium. And I'm probably forgetting about seven different shows.

Officially given up on: Heroes (it's not holding my interest this season, which sucks considering how much I loved it last season), Criminal Minds (no Mandy, no us), Dirty Sexy Money, Bionic Woman.

Several recipes have been added to the "Make Again" repertoire of my ever-picky family. All come courtesy of RecipeZaar.

Chicago Italian Beef (Crock Pot)

5 lbs rump roast (do not substitute for a different type roast)
2 cans (~28-30 oz) beef broth
1 package good seasons italian seasoning
1/2 - 1 jar sliced pepperoncini peppers (depending on level of spiciness desired)
1/2 - 1 jar giardiniera (a jarred pepper/veggie medley found in the pickle section of the grocery store)
3-5 sweet green peppers
1 loaf long thin French bread

- Cook first 5 ingredients in a Crockpot on LOW for 18 hours.
- Turn over at the 6th and 12th hour interval.
- At the 17th hour cut sweet green peppers into 1/8 ths lengthwise and cook in water on low heat until soft.
- Cut bread into 6 inch lengths and slice on the side lengthwise.
- Pull roast apart with a fork, and using tongs, pile bread with meat and juice. (Do not let juice drain before putting on bread. The juice is half the taste of the sandwich.)
- Lay strips of green pepper on top of the meat. Salt to taste.
- May be frozen when cooked.

For us, we skipped the green peppers, added sliced provolone to the sandwich and I added jarred roasted red peppers for myself. Very messy and good!

Creeping Crust Cobbler

1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 cups fruit (canned, fresh or frozen)
1/2 cup white sugar (if using canned fruit, this can be omitted, since the fruit will be sweet enough on it's own)

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- While oven starts to preheat, place butter (or margarine) in an 8"x8" pan, and place in oven to melt butter.
- In a mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, 3/4 cup sugar and milk. Mix well to combine.
- Remove pan from oven and pour batter mixture on top of melted butter - **DO NOT MIX TOGETHER!**
- In a small saucepan, heat fruit and 1/2 cup sugar until warmed and a syrup forms of the sugar, and gently spoon fruit mixture over batter.
- Bake for 35-40 minutes or until crust is golden brown.

This seemed to be a hit with Calvin, who is very particular about his cobblers. We used two cups of frozen mixed berries (raspberries, blackberries, blueberries) and served with vanilla ice cream.

Jambalaya (Crock Pot)

12 ounces boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 1/2 cups green peppers, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 (14 ounce) can whole tomatoes
1/3 cup tomato paste
1 can (15 oz) beef broth
1 tablespoon parsley
1 1/2 teaspoons basil
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 lb shelled raw shrimp
3 cups cooked rice

- Cut chicken into 1 inch pieces.
- Put all ingredients (EXCEPT shrimp and rice) in crockpot.
- Cover; cook on low for 8 hours.
- Add shrimp the last 20 minutes of cooking.
- Stir in rice before serving.

I used two cans of chicken breast as we didn't have any packaged chicken, and it turned out really well. I stirred a tablespoon of sour cream into my serving.

Cheese Enchilada Chowder (Crock Pot)

1 (15 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
1 (10 ounce) package frozen whole kernel corn
1/2 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup chopped bell peppers (red, yellow, or green)
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded, and finely chopped
1 (19 ounce) can green enchilada sauce
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup
2 cups milk
1 cup shredded monterey jack cheese
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
sour cream
guacamole
tortilla chips

- Add the black beans, tomatoes, frozen corn, onion, bell pepper, and jalapeno pepper to a 4 quart slow-cooker; stir to combine.
- In a mixing bowl, add the enchilada sauce and cream soup; whisk together.
- Gradually whisk in the milk until mixture is smooth.
- Pour over vegetables in slow-cooker.
- Cover and cook on LOW heat for 6-8 hours.
- Add cheese and stir until melted.
- Ladle hot soup into individual serving bowls and top with sour cream, guacamole and broken tortilla chips if desired.

I added a can of chunked chicken breast to the pot to give it some meat. I also added a small handful of jarred jalapeno slices (nacho style), and probably more cheese than the recipe called for. Calvin added a couple of spoonfuls of refried beans to his serving. We omitted the guacamole completely as it is EVIL.

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A protestation of minor proportions.

So Calvin and I were watching the series premiere of Reaper last night (awesome show, by the way... I shall continue with the watching). During the course of the episode one character called another character...

an ASSHAT.

I yelled, "DUDE, he so STOLE THAT!" Calvin nodded sagely in that way that he has whenever we come across a Hollywood plagiarism of our common word and/or phrase usage.

I can't remember if "asshat" belongs to Amanda or Sherry. But it belongs to one of them, dammit, and the CW totally stole it!

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Monday, September 24, 2007

honeydew


  1. Work (natch).

  2. Fold last week's laundry.

  3. Wash this week's laundry.

  4. Spend approximately three hours cleaning the kitchen.

  5. Put away the twelve-foot pile of crap that is on top of my dresser, having been removed from top drawer of said dresser in our weekend search for the key to my motorcycle.

  6. Figure out dinner menus for the next week.

  7. Author a grocery shopping list of epic proportions.

  8. Go grocery shopping.

  9. Go to the pet store and purchase cat food, dog food, litter, litter box liners, new cat food dishes and a new litter box. We have a NEW ARRIVAL coming to live with us on Wednesday, at which point all you curious people will be regaled with the adoption story and pictures. It will bring tears to your eyes.

  10. Go to the bank.

  11. Work out - 40 minutes of cardio, and upper body weights.

  12. Line up the DVR schedule for ALL THE DAMNED TV WE WILL BE WATCHING THIS SEASON. Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, CSI, Criminal Minds, Bionic Woman, Carpoolers, Pushing Daisies, Private Practice, Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Dirty Sexy Money, Big Shots, Moonlight, Journeyman, BSG: Razor, and fifteen others that I can't think of right this second. Thank God for Ducky Does TV.

  13. Tonight, specifically - Heroes, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and Journeyman. I think we need another DVR.

  14. Do all the night-time chores - cook dinner, feed the dogs, feed the lizards, get the coffee ready for tomorrow, get my lunch together for tomorrow, lay Calvin's work clothes out.

  15. Collapse in an exhausted heap.

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Money Wasting Slackers

I still haven't heard from that company in Maine. Motherfuckers.

I am shocked and a little awed (after having just balanced the checkbook and paid the bills) at the sheer amount of money we spend going out to eat. If we could just STOP DOING THAT, this paycheck-to-paycheck bidness could probably end. But going out to eat is not only the procurement of necessary nourishment - it is a form of entertainment for us. Mostly me. Clearly we need to find other ways to entertain ourselves. Ways that don't involve spending money.

I am a very outdoorsy person, normally, but it impossible to do outdoor-type-entertainment things in Arizona in the summertime. And yet? I still see joggers out there, every afternoon when the temperature is at its 116-fuck-degree hottest. And I ponder to myself: what unpronounceable mental condition do these people possess? Or is it a physical problem (also unpronounceable) that prevents people from feeling the heat (Googling... hold please... Familial Dysautonomia)? I can understand the need to get/remain fit. I can even somewhat wrap my brain around the thought that some people in fact enjoy running. But nothing in the world can make me comprehend the reasoning behind running in July in Arizona. That's just all full of The Crazy.

(Channelling Dawn, with whom I have been exchanging some EPIC e-mails this week.)

Remember how last weekend I said that Calvin and I were going to spend the entire weekend clearing out the garage and moving a bunch of stuff from the house and garage into the newly-obtained storage unit? Yeah. Well. We went as far as to take a trip to Home Depot on Saturday to acquire some storage containers. And Calvin purchased and put together a fan and attachments to make a mister to run in the garage during said cleaning out activity.

That's as far as we got. Seriously. We showered, napped, and sat on the couch watching movies. For the rest of the day on Saturday, and ALL DAY Sunday. We didn't do one damn useful thing at all. And felt really guilty about it. So this weekend we have renewed our motivation to accomplish the shitload of shit we need to get done. I have a list. It is long.

And now, a list of the movies that Calvin and I have used to distract ourselves from the guilt of not accomplishing anything:

Catch and Release - Starring Jennifer Garner and Timothy Olyphant. Cute enough. Decent, even. The dead guy pissed me off, but it ended good. I shall purchase the soundtrack.

Fur - Starring Nichole Kidman and Robert Downey Jr. What a freaking WEIRD movie. Normally I LOVE anything RDJr is in, but this one? Just weird, nothing else.

Zoom - Academy for Superheroes - Starring Tim Allen and Courtney Cox. Calvin picked this one out, it's his fault. DUMB.

Tourista - Starring nameless B-rate actors. Calvin watched this one while I read a book. And when it came to the underwater scene, I took my book into the bedroom. I don't like horror movies, and I can't STAND scenes where people are trapped underwater. GAH.

Shooter - Starring Mark Wahlberg. Decent, though with much pointless violence. It was interesting to see Danny Glover play the bad guy.

Blood Diamond - Starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Connelly. I still don't much like Leo. Plus there was A LOT of pointless violence in this one... which I guess accurately depicted the conditions of that part of Africa in the 90's.

Black Snake Moan - Starring Christina Ricci and Samuel L. Jackson. Certainly not what I expected, though I don't think I had expectations of this movie. It was decent. I still think Christina looks like one of the aliens from Mars Attacks!, though. Creepy.

Music and Lyrics - Starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. Very cute. I couldn't get the final song out of my head for days.

Bridge to Terabithia - Not what I expected, I thought it was going to be far more fanciful and far less literal. A good movie, though it struck a VERY STRONG chord because the similarities with what happened to Brad. Right down to the dog, for crying out loud.

The Devil Wears Prada - Starring Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway (with a minor role by our favorite, Stanley Tucci - I WISH they would put him on Grey's Anatomy). Saccharine and cute. Anne Hathaway does well dressed ala Audrey Hepburn, circa "Sabrina" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's".

And finally, Battlestar Galactica, seasons one and two. We've been getting the discs via Netflix since late March/early April, and just finished the last disc of season two last week. I am anxiously awaiting season three to come out, so I can watch it before season four starts on TV in November. What a great series. Calvin and I are both really enjoying it. Though the use of "frack" is really starting to get annoying. Also annoying, the last three or four episodes - Lee went from Captain to Commander in, like, two and a half episodes; Starbuck's trip to Caprica to rescue the rebels was very abbreviated, topped off by a bullshit message from the Cylons that they "made a mistake" by practically wiping out humanity; they elected a new president, found a planet, inhabited it for over a year, and were invaded by Cylons in one episode.

They never jumped around in time like that before, and they never hurried the storyline so much before. It makes me wonder why executives make decisions to mess with the story like that.

As far as summer television goes, everyone knows that it is The Suck. Calvin and I just end up watching reruns of sit-coms, comedians on the Comedy Channel, whatever's running on HBO (if we watch "Over the Hedge" one more time...), whatever's on the Discovery Channel, and hours upon HOURS of WWII documentaries (Calvin's a buff) on the History and/or Military channel. However, we have started watching episodes of "Kathy Griffin - My Life on the D List" (on Bravo? E!? Some cable channel...), and I've got to say, that woman CRACKS ME UP. She dines upon her foot with hysterical frequency, puts herself out there CONSTANTLY for judgement and ridicule, and doesn't give a SHIT. It's awesome. I want to grow up to be just like her.

Dear Lord, in reading back through this entry, it is very VERY obvious that Calvin and I need to put some meaning back into our leisure time.

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

Dammit.

From the horse's mouth (aka the head writer and executive producer of Grey's Anatomy):

"Burning it down was hard. But next season… oh, next season is all about the fun and the pain and the new beginnings. Because our interns are going to become residents. Because everyone is single again -- well, there is the little matter of Izzie and George and Callie… but still…"

"...everyone is single again..." Which means Mer and Der didn't make it. Which just pisses me right off. Stupid show. Stupid Shonda. Stupid stupidheads.

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

To be or not to be

This website lists the latest and greatest in network television shows - those who have made the cut for the '07-'08 fall season, and those which have been dropped.

Surprised:

The Class. I'm surprised that this one was cancelled. Especially after it won an Emmy last year.

Jericho. This cancellation surprised me too - and the fact that the series finale aired on May 9th. The article says they lost their following upon their return from hiatus, and I must say that was my issue as well.

The Real Wedding Crashers. Cancelled. I thought this one was going to make it. The couple of episodes I watched were hysterical.

Numb3rs. I'm surprised that it's returning. I can't believe a show with this premise lasted this long.

Not Surprised:

Raines. Cancelled. I called it.

Knights of Prosperity. Hokey is as hokey does. Cancelled.

Andy Barker, P.I.. Cancelled. Not surprised, any show with Andy Richter in it is doomed to end after only a few episodes.

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

A proud, proud moment.

A couple of nights ago Calvin and I went to the mall to pick up a few new shirts and a pair of jeans for him, in prep for our trip to Maine. Then we went to BJ's Brewery ("Where you can give me a BJ! Seriously! It's okay because the restaurant is named after it! People must do it all the time!") so we could have beers and I could have a salad because I was STARVING, it being 5:00 and I hadn't eaten yet that day.

ANYway. "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol was playing in the restaurant.

Calvin: "Huh! This is the second time I've heard this song today."

Me: "I love this song."

Calvin: "It makes me think of you. And, it makes me a little sad."

Me: "Why?"

Calvin: "Well, because you love all things Grey's Anatomy..."

Me, interrupting, because Calvin thinks Grey's is stoopid: "WAIT! You knew this was from Grey's Anatomy?!?"

Calvin, "Well, yeah. And it makes me a little sad because it was playing during that scene where Izzy was laying with Denny after he died..."

Me: "You are SO turning me on right now."

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