339 = the number of e-mails awaiting me when I logged in for work this morning. I guess when you divide that number by the number of days it's been since I've been at work (16), that's only 21 messages per day. I'll be gosh-darned if I'm going to log in on my vacation just to maintain my e-mails, though. Sixteen days of blissful ignorance is worth the three or four hours it's going to take me to plow through these and weed out the urgent ones.

I spent two hours yesterday picking up land mines in the back yard (I swear I'm going to stop feeding those dogs), then scrubbing out, rinsing, and re-filling the hot tub (it's been empty since shortly after Thanksgiving). Now I need the hot tub to relax the muscles in my back that are screaming because of yesterday's activities.

It's been raining off and on since last night, and the northern elevations are getting snow like gangbusters. We will probably do some in-state skiing in the coming weekends. And then need the hot tub again. Because we are old and out of shape and skiing is a young, shapely person's sport. Yet, we are game. And perhaps foolish.

Today's Manic Monday activities include: work (natch), laundry, grocery shopping at two different stores, picking up critters for the critters, picking up prescriptions, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the cat closet, taking back the rental movies, and working out. Aaaaand soaking in the hot tub.

Calvin and I went to see the new National Treasure movie. It was fun, historically inaccurate, and highly improbable. We did not go to see a history lesson, however, and so we enjoyed.

My husband and I now know what we want to be when we grow up. Bartenders. We shall sell and get out of Arizona, buy a condo or loft in the Old Port in Portland, Maine, and get jobs within walking distance as bartenders. You'd all be shocked at how completely serious we are about this. We even have a bartendress friend at our oft-visited local that is willing to teach us the ropes. At the end of this year, or the beginning of next, we shall begin to make plans in earnest. We're just waiting for the housing market to turn back around so we can get enough equity out of our property.

Finally, I am determined to lose thirty pounds. My plan is to eat 1000 calories Monday through Friday (easing up but not going overboard on the weekends), work out six days a week, and finally do something about this nonsense. I'm serious this time. No, really. I'll stand on the scale in front of Calvin if I have to in order to kick myself in my own ass and get some motivation.

For crying out loud.

Labels: goals, journal, movies, Op:Goddess, work

Posted by Laura at 8:44 AM | Permalink | Comments

Marie and I just got back from going to Pets Inc for "critters for the critters" (a medium rat and three dozen superworms), then to the grocery store for people food. She volunteered to go with me, and we gabbed and ooh'ed at the lizards and spiders and snakes, and impulse-bought food (at the grocery store) we didn't need. It's nice to have her back around the house again.

So right now the snake is writhing around on the floor of her vivarium, and the tail of the rat has just disappeared like a string of spaghetti into her mouth. A gape to re-hinge her jaw, and lunch is over. It's fascinating, in a totally gross kind of way.

I really had to push myself to stay on the elliptical this morning, and still only finished 35 minutes of my allotted 45-minute workout. I start negotiating with myself after about 20 minutes... "Okay, that's probably enough. Well, no, after the end of this song. Okay, the next song... five more minutes. Thirty minutes is long enough, right? Okay, dammit, thirty-five is close enough."

I appeased my guilt at shortening my workout by spending the next hour cleaning. I'm sure I killed more than enough calories that way.

Oz and Zoe are re-enacting WWII's Battle of the Bulge. Zoe is backed into the weight room and Oz is holding territory beyond the hallway. Volleys of hissing and spitting sail back and forth approximately every three minutes. In the end, Zoe will lose and go back to hide under the bed and sulk.

Labels: journal, Op:Goddess, pets

Posted by Laura at 2:51 PM | Permalink | Comments

Today I discovered that it takes fifty-three minutes and forty-three seconds on the elliptical machine at an average heart rate of 155 beats per minute to burn five hundred calories.

The final television lineup looks like this: Sunday - Californication. Monday - usually occupied watching DVR'd shows. Tuesday - How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, Bones, Reaper (the jury is still out on Journeyman). Wednesday - Private Practice, Pushing Daisies. Thursday - Grey's Anatomy, CSI (the jury is still out on Big Shots). Friday - the jury is still out on Moonlight. When they start up again I will still watch Battlestar Galactica and Medium. And I'm probably forgetting about seven different shows.

Officially given up on: Heroes (it's not holding my interest this season, which sucks considering how much I loved it last season), Criminal Minds (no Mandy, no us), Dirty Sexy Money, Bionic Woman.

Several recipes have been added to the "Make Again" repertoire of my ever-picky family. All come courtesy of RecipeZaar.

Chicago Italian Beef (Crock Pot)

5 lbs rump roast (do not substitute for a different type roast)
2 cans (~28-30 oz) beef broth
1 package good seasons italian seasoning
1/2 - 1 jar sliced pepperoncini peppers (depending on level of spiciness desired)
1/2 - 1 jar giardiniera (a jarred pepper/veggie medley found in the pickle section of the grocery store)
3-5 sweet green peppers
1 loaf long thin French bread

- Cook first 5 ingredients in a Crockpot on LOW for 18 hours.
- Turn over at the 6th and 12th hour interval.
- At the 17th hour cut sweet green peppers into 1/8 ths lengthwise and cook in water on low heat until soft.
- Cut bread into 6 inch lengths and slice on the side lengthwise.
- Pull roast apart with a fork, and using tongs, pile bread with meat and juice. (Do not let juice drain before putting on bread. The juice is half the taste of the sandwich.)
- Lay strips of green pepper on top of the meat. Salt to taste.
- May be frozen when cooked.

For us, we skipped the green peppers, added sliced provolone to the sandwich and I added jarred roasted red peppers for myself. Very messy and good!

Creeping Crust Cobbler

1/2 cup butter or margarine
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 cups fruit (canned, fresh or frozen)
1/2 cup white sugar (if using canned fruit, this can be omitted, since the fruit will be sweet enough on it's own)

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- While oven starts to preheat, place butter (or margarine) in an 8"x8" pan, and place in oven to melt butter.
- In a mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, 3/4 cup sugar and milk. Mix well to combine.
- Remove pan from oven and pour batter mixture on top of melted butter - **DO NOT MIX TOGETHER!**
- In a small saucepan, heat fruit and 1/2 cup sugar until warmed and a syrup forms of the sugar, and gently spoon fruit mixture over batter.
- Bake for 35-40 minutes or until crust is golden brown.

This seemed to be a hit with Calvin, who is very particular about his cobblers. We used two cups of frozen mixed berries (raspberries, blackberries, blueberries) and served with vanilla ice cream.

Jambalaya (Crock Pot)

12 ounces boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 1/2 cups green peppers, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 (14 ounce) can whole tomatoes
1/3 cup tomato paste
1 can (15 oz) beef broth
1 tablespoon parsley
1 1/2 teaspoons basil
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 lb shelled raw shrimp
3 cups cooked rice

- Cut chicken into 1 inch pieces.
- Put all ingredients (EXCEPT shrimp and rice) in crockpot.
- Cover; cook on low for 8 hours.
- Add shrimp the last 20 minutes of cooking.
- Stir in rice before serving.

I used two cans of chicken breast as we didn't have any packaged chicken, and it turned out really well. I stirred a tablespoon of sour cream into my serving.

Cheese Enchilada Chowder (Crock Pot)

1 (15 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
1 (10 ounce) package frozen whole kernel corn
1/2 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup chopped bell peppers (red, yellow, or green)
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded, and finely chopped
1 (19 ounce) can green enchilada sauce
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup
2 cups milk
1 cup shredded monterey jack cheese
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
sour cream
guacamole
tortilla chips

- Add the black beans, tomatoes, frozen corn, onion, bell pepper, and jalapeno pepper to a 4 quart slow-cooker; stir to combine.
- In a mixing bowl, add the enchilada sauce and cream soup; whisk together.
- Gradually whisk in the milk until mixture is smooth.
- Pour over vegetables in slow-cooker.
- Cover and cook on LOW heat for 6-8 hours.
- Add cheese and stir until melted.
- Ladle hot soup into individual serving bowls and top with sour cream, guacamole and broken tortilla chips if desired.

I added a can of chunked chicken breast to the pot to give it some meat. I also added a small handful of jarred jalapeno slices (nacho style), and probably more cheese than the recipe called for. Calvin added a couple of spoonfuls of refried beans to his serving. We omitted the guacamole completely as it is EVIL.

Labels: food, Op:Goddess, recipe, TV

Posted by Laura at 9:07 AM | Permalink | Comments

Holding myself accountable over at Operation::Goddess. Again.

Again.

Labels: Op:Goddess

Posted by Laura at 4:45 PM | Permalink | Comments

Crystal interviewed ME because she loves ME and only ME and no one ELSE but ME except maybe her dog Moose.

1. I’ve read your goddess journal with regard to your illness (btw, update it more, I am so sure!) and want to know: how are you feeling? How are things with your health?

I am feeling much, much better. The proton pump flux capacitor photon torpedo inhibitors (aka: Protonix) seem to be doing the trick with the ol' pancreatitis. I haven't had any caffeine or alcohol since April 1st. Or jalapenos, or raw onions, or really anything else that encourages the pancreatitis to flare up. I shall continue to behave myself until the end of July, at which time a) the doctor says I should be fine to re-introduce the "no-no" items in moderate quantities; and b) Calvin and I are going to the Oregon Brewer's Festival and all non-drinking bets will be off.

On Monday I'm getting the much-delayed MRI, just to make sure it's just ("just"! Hah!) pancreatitis, and not something else like stones in the bile ducts and whatnot.

2. How did you meet your loving man?

Calvin and I met at work, and the sheer odds that we met at all are staggering. I had just moved 3000 miles to Arizona. I got a temp job working at AcronymCo, for a construction company building one of their office buildings. Calvin worked in Facilities for AcronymCo itself, and was one of the folks assigned to the new building project. My boss very randomly assigned me to go out to the newly constructed Mechanical Support Building and monitor the building controls alarms coming in as the systems were set up. Calvin was the go-to guy on AcronymCo's behalf for these systems. So I sat in the MSB office and called back alarms via the walkie talkie, and he came in and sat down at another workstation. We chatted and flirted, he typed "696969" on the calculator I was using and slid it over in front of me (SUCH a Calvin move you have no idea), I laughed at his dorky audacity, and it was all over but the cryin' at that point.

For those of you following along at home, yes I met him very soon after moving to Arizona, and yes that means that I was still married at the time to X(m), and Calvin was still married to X(f). But this is indeed how we met.

3. Which is better, America’s Next Top Model or Project Runway, and why? Answer wisely.

Oh geez. There's going to be trouble in our innernet lesbian marriage now. Crystal is NOT going to be happy to find out that I don't watch either one of these. Reality shows just pretty much drive me crazy. I can't see the point to them at all.

4. Is Oprah Winfrey Jesus or the Devil, and why?

Well, Crystal, since you said your own self that you and Jesus are one and the everlovin same, that must make Oprah the Devil by default. Do you see? I PAY ATTENTION.

5. Name the last three books you read that really impressed you---NON-FICTION.

A Year in the Maine Woods by Bernd Heinrich. I really enjoyed this book for multiple reasons. First, of course, is because it's about Maine. As I grew up in the Maine woods, the subject matter resonated with me. The second appeal the book had for me is that I have always wanted to take a hiatus from life and just escape to a simple place and live a simple life. Heinrich immerses himself in the natural world, the simple culture, and the rhythms of the forest for an entire year. Reading about it made me jealous of his opportunity, to be honest.

America - The Book by John Stewart. This counts as non-fiction, right? Even though Stewart pretty much bastardizes historic fact? This thing had me laughing my ass off throughout. I mean, just the fact that the layout, dimensions, and even the paper it's printed on is EXACTLY like a high-school history book, was hysterical. Then there's all these little asides (i.e.: "see fig. 1") about the personal (and questionable) life and motivations of historic people... well, not everyone will "get" this book, but it appeals to my sense of humor. And John Stewart is damnsexy.

River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze by Peter Hessler. I bought this book because I was doing a paper on the Yangtze River for my college class on Pacific Rim culture. I really didn't expect to like this book as much as I did. It's about two young men in the Peace Corps that went to Fuling, China (along the Yangtze River) who stayed for two years as teachers at the local college. They were very American and foreign (the first foreigners to be in that area of China for 50 years), and hijinx ensued as they tried to fit into the local culture.

And you all thought I only read trashy romance novels. Shame on you.

Okay! If anybody would like me to interview them, leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail!

Labels: blogthings, Calvin, journal, misc, Op:Goddess

Posted by Laura at 11:24 AM | Permalink | Comments

Long time readers are familiar with the fact that I am very honest about my health, the issues I have experienced, and my opinions of topics related to wellness, nutrition, fitness, and exercise. I am comfortable with sharing - probably to the point of oversharing, sometimes. I do this with the hope that relating of some of my experiences will help educate other people regarding their own health concerns, offer resources they may not have known were out there, or at least let them know they are not alone in the world. I have gotten feedback from lots of folks on a myriad of topics, both from this site (and the main journal) and from Operation::Goddess, which gives me encouragement that my sharing is a good thing.

So, here I go again. I just posted an abbreviated version at Operation::Goddess about this, but I felt the need to expound in greater detail here.

I have suspected for a while that I suffer from hormone imbalance, specifically symptoms of perimenopause, which is really not uncommon for women in their 30's. Of these symptoms listed (courtesy of this site), I suffer from a startling number (though, thankfully, not all) of them:

Fatigue
Cravings for sweets or carbohydrates
Weight gain
Hot flashes or night sweats
PMS
Feeling depressed or overwhelmed
Mood swings or irritability
Insomnia or restless sleep
Headaches
Loss of desire
Fuzzy thinking
Digestive issues
Stiffness or joint pain
Anxiety
Heart palpitations
Breast pain
Urinary dysfunction
Hair loss/dry skin
Vaginal dryness
Irregular periods
Fibroids

Now, like most people, I figured a lot of these symptoms were from depression, stress, poor diet, or just plain "getting old". All of you will recall that I saw a therapist for depression and anxiety, I had digestive issues that resulted in my gallbladder being removed, and I've been battling for some time to find the right "secret" that would result in weight loss for me. I've tried MYRIADS of things to help fix all of the things I've mentioned here, plus some other things that (you'll thank me) I didn't post about. The links I provided don't even scratch the surface of all of the entries I've written about my, erm, adventures.

I've seen doctor after doctor - specialists, therapists, nutritionists, general practitioners, OB-GYN's. I've mentioned, repeatedly, my concerns over my various symptoms. Their reactions have ranged from looking at me like I'm crazy, to prescribing things that will individually treat one or two symptoms (until at one point I was taking 8 prescriptions simultaneously), to telling me this is all normal "for me" because "everyone is different", to blaming it all on stress and telling me to "destress" my life (yeah, right), to flat-out stating that it's all "in my head". I've been tested for food allergies. I've had my blood drawn more than all the victims combined in all seven seasons of Buffy. I've done stuff covered by my insurance, and stuff not covered by my insurance.

After all of that, nobody seemed to come up with an answer that satisfied me. And, my symptoms started worsening. So, I said, "Fuck that noise," and decided to do some research on my own. Which is what lead me to my self-diagnosis of hormone imbalance. I mentioned this thought to my general practitioner (oh-so-helpful as she always is), who figured it was as good of a reason as any for my complaints.

So! This week, I am starting a personalized program with Women to Women, which happens to be the OB-GYN that I saw when I lived in Maine. I was very pleased to find them at the top of the Google search when I entered in "hormone imbalance". I think on a regular basis, when doing the girly necessary annual crap, that I wish I could still go to the W2W clinic in Yarmouth, Maine. They were fantastic - very understanding, knowledgeable, and most importantly they took their time with each patient and actually conversed. It always made me feel like they actually cared about what was going on with me, and weren't trying to brush me off in order to get to their next patient (a complaint I hold VERY dear regarding my current doctor). Plus, their facility is in a very nicely converted Victorian home, which made me feel like I was visiting a friend rather than a doctor's office. Next best thing to being able to physically go to their clinic is getting their support long-distance, via e-mail and phone support, which thus far has been excellent.

This program involves nutritional changes (based on the Schwarzbein Principle, of which I am already familiar), a supplement regime, and a bioidentical progesterone cream. All of it targets the rebalancing of hormones and the relief of perimenopause symptoms.

This is NOT another one of those "fix it fast" fad regimes. It's actually developed by doctors, whose clinic I actually utilized. There's information on a bunch of evidentiary studies for those people (like me) who need the stats and figures and formulas and expert mumbo-jumbo in order to make a decision. The fact that I have met the doctors (in fact, the W2W co-founder and director was my OB-GYN), experienced their care, and have actually physically been to their clinic, was the combination that convinced me that this program is worth a try.

Here is information on their personal program, information on their supplements, and information on their recommended free profile.

I will post updates on my progress and experiences over at Operation::Goddess, just so journal readers can choose how much TMI they want to indulge in. I hope at best that some of this helps someone out there, or at worst that I don't scare off any readers!

Labels: health, journal, Op:Goddess

Posted by Laura at 12:06 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'm posting over at Operation: Goddess again. In case there are any diet voyeurs out there.

Labels: Op:Goddess

Posted by Laura at 11:48 AM | Permalink | Comments