I have that abnormal fear of death, and yet I'm also kinda fascinated by it, insofar as I've actually considered doing a course/program/what-have-you to become a funeral director and/or mortician.

I'm always worried that I haven't done enough in life, and then, although I believe *something* exists after, I can't help but wonder "What if I'm wrong?"

And that whole Can you go mad after you're dead could make a neat short novel...