If wishes were fishes

I'd take one of these, and one of these.
- posted by Laura @ 4:59 PM

 
Wiped Out

What a DAY. Back to back meetings from 8:00 through until 6:00, with a wee baby break from 12:00-12:30, and right now (3:30-4:00). There's so much stuff I need to learn for the projects that I'm now covering (due to the reorg), and exactly 2.5 seconds in which to learn it. I'm looking at my calendar for next week and I want to cry. I'd planned on taking Monday off so I could continue to drool into my pillow and mourn the parting with my wisdom teeth, but a two-day meeting for one of my projects (yes, two DAYS, 8:00-6:00 Monday and Tuesday) derailed that little dream. Four meetings on Wednesday. Another day of back-to-backs on Thursday with one hour TOTAL the entire day that I DON'T have a meeting. Friday, meetings from 8:00-12:00, and another one at 2:00.

Ah, well. At least the project implementation I mentioned in my last entry is going well. Some issues, but nothing show-stopping. Everyone seems to be fairly pleased with it, which makes me feel good. Delivering a piece of shit system just ruins my day. AND, I won a drawing and get to park in a reserved COVERED parking space, all the month of July. It's the little things... except that covered parking in July in Arizona is a great big thing.

After work, Calvin and I are going to the grocery store to stock up on foods that are copasetic to tooth removal. Pudding, Jell-O, instant mashed potatoes, ice cream, yogurt, and the like. I don't anticipate that I'll feel much like updating over the next couple of days, so expect a bit of silence.

Is it a sad, sad thing that I'm viewing this minor surgery as a positive, in the forced idleness that accompanies it? At least, I'm viewing it as positive between the times that I'm freaking out, anyway. I don't like pain. It hurts.

Okay. Two more meetings before I can go home. Just keep swimming... just keep swimming... just keep swimming...
- posted by Laura @ 3:36 PM

 
Sober Rational Destructive Follower

I'm not sure if this is quite right, but...

Wackiness: 40/100
Rationality: 66/100
Constructiveness: 38/100
Leadership: 50/100

You are an SRDF--Sober Rational Destructive Follower. This makes you a font of knowledge. You are cool, analytical, intelligent and completely unfunny. Sometimes you slice through conversation with a cutting observation that causes silence and sidelong glances. You make a strong and lasting impression on everyone you meet, the quality of which depends more on their personality than yours.

You may feel persecuted, as you can become a target for fun. Still, you are focused enough on your work and secure enough in your abilities not to worry overly.

You are productive and invaluable to those you work for. You are loyal, steadfast, and conscientious. Your grooming is impeccable. You are in good shape.

You are kind of a tool, but you get things done. You are probably a week away from snapping.

Link courtesy of Sarah.
- posted by Laura @ 12:35 PM

 
Aww.

I'm in the bedroom folding laundry, and Marie's in the kitchen making a batch of brownies. She just came in to "share the bowl" with me, with two spatulas to scrape out the remaining brownie mix.

Feelin' the love! ;)
- posted by Laura @ 7:06 PM

 
New Entry

There's a new entry up at ~Snerkology~. I'm not a lush, really.
- posted by Laura @ 6:13 PM

 
Administrative Goo

I updated my reading list, if anybody's terribly interested. ;)
- posted by Laura @ 4:40 PM

 
Throwing in Arizona, too.

Just to be fair to my current home state:

You Know You're in Arizona When ...

- You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.
- You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
- You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.
- You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
- You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
- You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
- You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.
- You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
- You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
- You can make sun tea instantly.
- You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
- You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
- Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
- You can pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Tlaquepaque".
- It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go to Circle K.
- Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.
- Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
- No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
- You can understand the reason for a town named "Why."

Some others (edited to remove the repeats from above):

1. You buy salsa by the gallon.
2. Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.
3. You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
4. All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
5. You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
6. Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los."
7. You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
10. Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
18. Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
19. People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees
24. Most homes have more firearms than people.
25. Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
26. People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
28. The AC is on your list of best friends.
29. Monday Night Football starts at 5:00 instead of 8:00.
31. You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
36. You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
37. Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain....."
38. When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.
39. Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
40. If you haven't worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.
41. You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.
- posted by Laura @ 10:52 AM

 
You might be from Maine if...

Sherry did a bit in her blog about how to tell if you're a Canadian, and I wondered if there was anything out there about folks from Maine, before I wrote one myself. Lo and behold the powers of the Internet, folks, because I found this:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MAINE IF:

1. you've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
2. when it snows four inches you call it "a dusting."
3. your neighbor's house was foreclosed after an unlucky 24 hour mini-cruise on the Scotia Prince.
4. you don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the county.
5. you know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
6. you knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.
7. your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
8. you can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
9. you've hung out at a gravel pit.
10. you think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
11. you once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
12. even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
13. you've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
14. you know how to pronounce Calais.
15. you've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda.
16. you've gone to a Grange bean supper.
17. in high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.
18. at least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
19. at least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."
20. there's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
21. you crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly.
22. your idea of a traffic jam is being the second car at the stoplight.
23. you wonder out loud if the state can just close its borders to people from away.
24. your house converts to a B&B every July & August for people from away that you happen to know.
25. all year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
26. you have a front door but no porch to get to it.
27. your kids start using "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech.
28. you have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
29. you do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.
30. you've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
31. you've had a vacation from school just to help the family pick potatoes.
32. you know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.
33. you know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
34. you go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
35. you've ever given directions to someone from "away" and intentionally led them in the opposite direction they wanted to go.
36. you watch "Murder she Wrote" and snicker at the stupid fake accents.
37. you know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.
38. you take the New Hampshire toll personally.
39. you feel really really good when you cross the Piscatiqua River bridge into Kittery.
40. you always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
41. a roll of Duct tape and a can of flat black spray paint will get your car to pass inspection.
42. you know how to avoid all the traffic at the Fryeburg Fair by using the "Secret Entrance".
43. you have to replace you mailbox yearly because of the town plow.
44. you know how to get from Cumberland to Fryeburg via the "Egypt Road".
45. you can remember when the "Egypt Road" was a dirt track through the woods.
46. when you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
47. you know that Moody's Diner does NOT take credit cards!
48. you actually miss the fifteen below zero mornings in winter (that have been eliminated by the greenhouse effect) because you enjoyed running or walking to work in the silent crystal stillness, punctuated by an idling car engine as the owner waited indoors for the car to warm up before his mad dash from warmth to warmth, and your lungs did not freeze; thank you very much for your concern.
49. the word "stove" refers to what you did to the right front fender of your truck after you've had a wicked bring-up on a rock.
50. there's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
51. you know what a frappe is.
52. you know the smell of Woodsmens fly dope.
53. you eat supper at night and dinner at noon.

This cracked me up. Long time readers will recall my repeated mention of #21 in my journal. And as I sat here, I exclaimed, "Oh my gawd, Ayuh!" at numbers 11, 16, 27 (you should hear my sister's kids!), 31 (I had a friend that lived on a potato farm), 33 (my grandmother swore by this), 39!!! (Calvin and the kids can attest to this - this is the bridge at the Mass/Maine border and it's my sign that I'm "home" when we travel back there), 44/45 (I exclaimed at this, surprised to see it mentioned, as I used to live near there and my sister still does).

And I also found this:

You Know You're in Maine:

If you own more than four pair of gloves.
If every other vehicle is a 4X4.
If camping is allowed it's only in steel sided campers.
If, when the sun goes down, you start looking for your coat.
If in March your vehicle is 43% mud.
If you leave your keys in your car and the next morning your car is still there.
If you're on the shoulder of the highway with your hood up and somebody stops to help you.
If you can pay for six big macs with a personal check.
If drive by shootings only occur on the evening news.
If your central heating system is fueled by large logs.
If you see numerous chauffeur-driven dogs.
If you can see the stars at night.
If people drive 100 miles to shop in a real mall.
If a deer throws itself under your wheels.
If you got a set of new snow tires for Valentines day.
If more than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose.
If the term "chill factor" is part of your daily vocabulary.
If the bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
If you only paid $5 to cut down your own douglas fir christmas tree.
If you enjoy a hot chocolate more than you do a margarita.
If a girls basketball game fills the school gym.
If you put the car heater on your list of best friends.
If you pawned a snow blower instead of a set of golf clubs.
If dressing up means wearing a tie with your flannel shirt.
If you think you're in a traffic jam when you're in the second car at the light.
If you don't use your blinker because everyone already knows where you're going.
If your long john's don't come off until mid-May . . .
If you and your friend across town complain about a skunk smell from a roadkill...and it's the same skunk.
If, after you gassed up the Chevy, you realized your wallet was at home and you heard: "Just stop by when you can."
If the only people who can afford a lobster dinner are the tourists.
If you spend your weekends "sailing" ..... garage "sale"ing.
If your "luxury vehicle" is a twelve-year-old rustbucket on wheels.
If your dog eats better than you do, and more often too.
If you never say what you paid for an item but how much you "give" for it.
If every time you get married, you still have the same in-laws!
If you ever used the word "some" to mean "very": [Hey, pa, that is some nice car you got!]
If you can most always write on your pick-up truck window with your finger.
If your wife weighs more than your pick-up.
If your best fancy dress is a formal gown, grandma's pearls and LL Bean boots.
If you can eat a frozen popsicle stick to warm up your mouth in the wintah.
If you can get to the store faster in the middle of a blizzard than in the middle of tourist season.
If you've ever had to snow blow your roof.
If you ask your sweetheart to be your wife and she answers "Ayuh!"
If your house was on fire and you only had time to save the wife or your chainsaw, you'd have to give it some thought.
If you share information about girl friends with friends, but not fishing locations.
If almost everything you need to survive the elements or repair the truck are always in back of the truck.

or . . . .

If you plan a vacation to a place with natural scenic beauty and then you remember you don't even need to leave home . . .

. . . then you're in Maine.

Are You Really From Maine???

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you can name all four seasons, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if they are Tourist, Foliage, Ski and Mud.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you own flannel shirts, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if you wear one with a tie.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you know the back roads, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if you drive them to avoid the toll booth.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you own a pick-up truck, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if the truck is 4-wheel drive, has a gun rack, a plow on the front and a dog in the back.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you attend church suppers, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if that's considered a night out on the town.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you live in a white cape, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if there is a picket fence around the house,
a garden in the back, a woodpile somewhere, and some appliances on the
front lawn.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you say "Ames-es", but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if you do all your shopping there.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you read the Union Leader, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if you believe it.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you know everyone in town, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if they're all related to you.

YOU'RE FROM MAINE if you go to the dump on saturday, but
YOU'RE REALLY FROM MAINE if you leave with more than what you brought.

Here's another link (I'm really posting all these especially for Robyn and Elle).
- posted by Laura @ 10:46 AM