Colloquial
Friday, June 25, 2004
Yay!
Thanks to a wonderful recommendation from Athena, we're booked at a hotel in Carlsbad for our Labor Day Weekend excursion.
So. Only July and August to get through. Heck, they're ONLY the hottest months of the year. I'm whining just a little.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
The Latest Wisdom to Circulate the Office E-mail
The Most Functional Word
Well, it's shit...that's right,
shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word
in the English language.
Consider: You can get shit-faced,
Be shit out of luck,
Or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together,
Find a place for your shit,
Or be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit and die.
Some people know their shit, while others
can't tell the difference between Shit and Shineola.
There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
people into shit.
There is bull shit,
horse shit and
chicken shit.
You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
shoot the shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or
serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
some things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and
other times you fall in a bucket of shit and
come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's
the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you
don't need to know anything else!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit.
Or not do so, If you don't give a shit.
Well Shit, time to go. Just wanted you to know
that I do "Give A Shit"
and hope you had a wonderful day.
P. S. If you happened to catch a load of shit from
some shit head,
Well, just remember....
Shit happens.
Editor's Note: They forgot "shithead", "hot shit", and "holy shit".
Quality Time
My idea of quality time is something that does NOT involve being at work. Swear to God (heh, I originally typed "sweat", which would have created an interesting meaning), spending 40+ hours a week at that place is such a waste of my life. Not that I'm not grateful for being gainfully employed. I'm just sayin', if someone could pay me for writing journal entries and posting at The Usual Suspects, that would be much more in keeping with my lifestyle.
I'm enjoying an unhurried morning. I have to take Marie to an 8:30 ortho appointment (SOMEDAY we'll get those fucking braces off and won't ever have to deal with her MORON orthodontist again). I actually woke up refreshed this morning, with no vague feelings of having tossed and turned all night long. Plus, Calvin woke me up by running his fingers over my cheek and stroking my hair, and if there is a better way to wake up in the morning, I challenge you to tell me what it is. Love me some Calvin.
I like being able to have a second cup of coffee and actually grab a piece of toast for breakfast. I like the quiet house and the chirping birds outside, and my cat begging for a spot in my lap (which, by the way, makes it difficult to type). I like the lighting in the bedroom first thing in the morning, when the temperature is dimmed down to a tolerable 88 degrees before being cranked up to 110 in a few hours. If I were staying home, I'd read for a couple of hours before getting started on the housework. I'd toss the ball for the dogs outside, and maybe work out and then take a bubble bath.
But I'm not staying home to spend quality time, and I hear Marie rattling around in the kitchen, which means she's ready to go. Sigh.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Question
How do you web-savvy folks out there get the little icon to show up in the favorites list before the name of your website? Instead of the boring old Microsoft Explorer "e" icon. Sherry has a little coffee mug, and Rob has a "DT" icon, and Jette has a movie celluloid with 'ce' on it... and hey, it shows up in front of the URL in the address bar, too.
I want one.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Eerie
I've found a website that provides satellite images of any address, so I looked up my Grandmother's house. According to the website, the photo was taken on April 28, 2001. There are cars parked in the driveway. I can see the screenhouse, the mailbox, and the neighbor's houses. I can see the imprint where Grandma used to have her garden. When this picture was taken, my Grandma was still alive.
Then I looked up the house we live in now. The photo was taken in 1999. We hadn't built the addition yet. There was no hot tub. The back yard looks HUGE. We weren't home at the time - there were no cars in the driveway, but the neighbor's old white car is pulled up in front of our yard. Weird.
Edited to add: I looked up the stable where I used to train and board my horse. I could even see the horses in their paddocks. Everything came rushing back to me in a wave of familiarity. Unreal.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Ought to
- I ought to stop eating Caesar salads for lunch. My afternoon meeting attendees probably don't appreciate it, and it usually takes Calvin a good 24 hours to want to kiss me again.
- I ought to start up Storyteller again, it's been more than a year since it went on hiatus. I wonder if there's still interest out there?
- I ought to just give up on getting a technical degree and go back to pursuing my business management degree. I'd be done in less than eighteen months, as opposed to the five years it would take me to get my EE. Then at least I'd have a stupid flippin' piece of paper.
- I ought to watch my sarcasm more closely. We went for Mexican food last night in celebration of Father's Day, and I ordered Spinach Enchiladas (Enchiladas Espinaca? Something like that.). The description was below the name. I ordered it, the waiter reminded me that it had spinach and mushrooms in it, and I replied, "Yeah, I got that."
- I ought to have put my foot down harder when I said to Calvin that I didn't want to watch "Stuck on You". That's two hours of my life that I'll never get back, and Calvin had the GAUL to go to bed before it was over, after MAKING me watch it. Huff.
- I ought to get up at 5:00 so I can exercise before work, and still make it in by 7:00. Long time readers will now be saying in unison, "Yeah, right. How long has she been talking about this, now?"
- I ought to stay more on top of the tedious details in life. Like filing. And cleaning out the garage. And organizing the closets. And washing the truck. And cooking more inventive meals than tuna and noodles. And giving the dogs regular baths. And cleaning out the cat box. And folding the laundry.
- I ought to spend less time in front of the TV, and more time... doing something else.
- I ought to be writing faster for AlphaBytes. I'm only on "O" and there's only nine days left in June.

Sunday, June 20, 2004
I don't get it
I believe the movie "Alien" is playing, on one cable channel or another, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And whenever Calvin comes across it, he stops and watches it. Every single time. It boggles the mind how many times he must have seen this movie.












