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January 16, 2003 Survey Says Various surveys and whatnot, ripped from random places. I'm ADD girl today, so this is how you get to suffer. From Sherry's Blog: What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with? Robert. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color? I ain't wearin' none. (ooh-la-la!) What is the song you want played at your funeral? Sane: "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds Sick: "Goodbye Earl" by the Dixie Chicks What would your last meal be before getting executed? Yeesh, these are morbid questions!! A fillet, a 2 lb Maine Lobster, twice-baked potato, a good bottle of wine, and a big 'ol slice of cheesecake smothered in strawberry syrup. Beatles or Stones? Aerosmith. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be? Bin Laden. The person whose problems you would never want to hear again? Michael Jackson. What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex? Person: Good hands. Act: "Helloooo, Elvis!" If you could have any super power what would it be? To be able to fly, and to be able to speak mind-to-mind. That way I could hover at the ceiling and then swoop down and scare the shit outta my cat, and I could chat with Calvin while in a really boring meeting. Favorite hangover cure? Before going to bed: A slice of white bread, a couple of pain killers, and a full glass of water. The next morning: A huge greasy breakfast, and (optional) a sacrifice to the porcelain gods. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk? Depends on what I'm drinking, and if I have food in my belly. But generally, beer = 4. Wine = 3. Tequila shots = 3. Gin and tonics = 3 (or 2 if it's the good stuff). Daiquiris = 5. Margaritas = 3. Of course, if I do the whole one drink, one glass of water, one drink, one glass of water... thing, I can just stay nicely buzzed all night without crossing over. As long as I don't mix alcohols. I know too much about this subject. Moving on... Favorite Outkast lyric? I don't find them to be very lyrical, really. But I like "The Way You Move". Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have? Doesn't really matter. My very first boyfriend had long blonde hair. My first husband had black hair. Calvin has short spikey blonde hair. Hair color is not something I pay attention to. Unless it was, like, green or something. If you had to be blind or deaf? Mute. It would keep me out of trouble more. Do you have any psychiatric problems? Do you have an hour? Siblings that should go to rehab? I only have one. But as it happens... Least favorite month? In Maine, it was April (mud season). In Arizona, it's August. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid? The Song of the South. Favorite person in the whole world? As if you didn't know... When's the last time you went on a date? I'm trying to think of the last time Calvin and I just went out and did something together, without meeting up with friends or having Marie with us. I guess a couple of weeks ago when we had drinks at Chili's? Oh, wait, we went to a strip club on the 1st... does that count as a date? Do you like violent movies or dirty movies? Action. Now ask Calvin that question... Fall or spring? Again, in Maine it was spring (end of snow). In Arizona, it's fall (end of 100+ degree weather). If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with? Kate Beckinsale. Hummunah. I'd totally do her. Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle? I want to winter in Arizona and summer in Maine. Who is the person you can count on most? Again with the obvious questions... If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age are not factors? Does "date" mean "have hot monkey sex with"? And can I have more than one? At the same time, even? Johnny Depp. John Bon Jovi. Richie Sambora. David Boreanaz. Matthew Broderick when he was on Ferris (and, shamefully, The Lady). The Rock, post-wrestling days. Ooh! The guy that plays Luca on ER. And Adam Rodriguez (from CSI: Miami). Ohded Fahr (from The Mummy). And Brendan Fraser, while we're at it. And most of all, Robert Downey Jr. Circa "Johnny Be Good" and circa "Ally McBeal". What books have you pretended you've read? I don't think there are any. What's a word you would use to describe your life? Complex. What did you dream last night? I have no idea. Favorite bands? Bands meaning more than one member, as opposed to solo artists? No Doubt, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Journey, Dave Matthews Band, Van Halen, Def Leppard, U2, Bee Gees, INXS, Genesis, REO Speedwagon, Fleetwood Mac, Led Zep... there's a bunch more. From Heather: 1. [wallet] Black tri-fold. 2. [hairbrush] Black, missing teeth (it's one of those plastic bristle pin-cushion kind). 3. [toothbrush] Purple and white Colgate. 4. [jewelry worn daily] Platinum ring with three diamonds, silver watch, and lately the cross necklace that Calvin gave me for Christmas. 5. [pillow cover] Uhh... boring? Normal? 6. [blanket] One green cotton knit, one plaid striped with green and maroon and some other colors. 7. [coffee cup] A very deep earth-colored cup, black on the inside, that came with a southwestern-type dish set we bought. And also a mug that says "Have a DAMN nice day" with an evil looking smiley face on it. Oh! And the HUGE mug my sister got me one Christmas, that has Santa in a therapist's office saying, "It's cold as hell, the reindeer stink, and to be honest, I never really liked kids." 8. [sunglasses] VERY thin silver wire frames with purple tinted lenses. The earpieces fold up to tuck under the nosepieces and look like a butterfly. So light that I always forget they're on my face, and then panic when I can't find them. Very cool. 9. [underwear] What's with the underwear obsession? Still ain't wearin' none. 10. [cologne / perfume] Estee Lauder "Beyond Paradise" that Calvin got me for Christmas. 11. [CD in stereo right now] Listened to "Aerosmith - Big Ones" on the way to work this morning. 12. [tattoos] Three - a gecko on my hip, a Japanese symbol for the word "love" on my right shoulder, and a fanciful bird-type creature descending on a planet-looking thing on my left shoulder (I liked the way it looked, that one has no particular meaning). 13. [piercings] One in my navel, two in my left ear, three in my right. 14. [what you are wearing now] Aeropastale white button up shirt with a white tank underneath it, American Eagle jeans, a black belt, black loafers. 15. [in my mouth] No cavities! 16. [in my head] The chorus to "The Way You Move" by Outkast. 17. [wishing] Our debt was paid off. 18. [after this] A staff meeting. 19. [fetishes] Putting my fingertips up to his mouth, and he traces them with his tongue. (rrrowrrr) 20. [if you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what] I think the most I would do is kick them in the shins. Although I've always wanted to just roundhouse someone who really deserves it. 21. [person you wish you could see right now?] Grammy. 22. [is next to you] The guys in the bullpen across the isle from my cubicle. 23. [some of your favorite movies] The Princess Bride, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sabrina, all the Lord of the Rings movies, White Christmas, The Goonies... 24. [something you're looking forward to] Getting my bonuses so I can pay off some debt. 25. [the last thing you ate] A pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese. 26. [something that you are deathly afraid of] Being trapped underwater while my air runs out. Anyone in my family dying. Tornados. 27. [do you like candles] Yep! Although the all seem to end up in Marie's room. 28. [do you like incense] If it's not too overpowering. 29. [do you like the taste of blood] Um. Ew. 30. [do you believe in love] I believe in all different kinds of love. 31. [do you believe in soul mates] I believe there is a finite number of people that you may be able to absolutely connect with on a spiritual level. 32. [do you believe in love at first sight] I believe that you don't necessarily recognize it as love at first sight when it happens, but when you look back on it you realize that it was. 33. [can you eat with chopsticks] Yep, but I like to take big mouthfuls (I didn't say I had manners), so I'd rather use a fork. Or a shovel. 34. [what are some of your favorite candies] Roche chocolates, Junior Mints, Cow Tails, Starburst. 35. [what's something that you wish people would understand] That it's not always all about them. From Robyn: 1. Would you take the fall for a crime committed by a sibling or parent?: Nope. 2. What's your favorite picnic food?: Chicken salad sandwiches, potato salad, cold chicken legs. 3. What television show did you like that got canceled way too soon?: Firefly. 4. Ever get caught picking your nose?: No, but I've caught people. 5. By which school picture are you most embarrassed?: My sister has it up on her fridge, of course. I think it was fourth or fifth grade. I had chapped lips. I had a stupid haircut. I had an idiotic expression on my face. My sister shows it to everyone that comes to her house. 6. What was your first computer?: A Tandy 8086. Guffaw! 7. What are you completely and irrationally stubborn about?: Carrying a gun in the truck (as in, not), but I think that's a rational stubbornness. 8. You're offered the political appointment of your choosing. What job do you take?: Queen of the World (sounds good to me, Robyn!). 9. How would you like to die?: At the age of 172, after having amazing sex with Calvin. I pity the people who find us. 10. You get to plan your own funeral. Who speaks? Who sings? How do you get sent off?: I'll be dead. It'd be better for whoever's living to do what makes *them* feel better. 11. You and a date finish an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant and discover the waiter has charged you for only one lobster. Do you a) point out the mistake. b) keep quiet and leave a huge tip. c) quickly pay the tab and leave.: It's his mistake, let him explain it to his manager. 12. To whom are you most likely to lend money? a relative, a friend, a business partner, or the author of this survey.: I don't believe in "lending" money. I've "loaned" money to so many people that I've never gotten back, that I now either give money as a gift, or don't give it at all. 13. Ever changed your website just so you could join a ring?: No, but I might do it for a Diarist Award. If it didn't mean selling my soul to Satan. 14. Ever written on a special topic, just so you could qualify for a web award?: See #13. 15. Ever submitted your own site for a web award?: Nope! 16. Ever offered a web award of your own conception?: Nope. 17. What's your favorite flavor of toaster pastry?: Toaster Streudel Raspberry. 18. Ever paid one credit card with another one?: Yep - balance transfers to a lower interest rate is just good sense. But I haven't made a monthly payment for one credit card with another. 19. Ever been hoopsnaked by a home equity loan ad?: What the hell does "hoopsnaked" mean??? 20. To what magazines do you currently subscribe?: All the mags in our house are under my name, so: Playboy, Maxim, Fitness, Gourmet. 21. What's your guilty pleasure?: Staying in my jammies all day, reading a book and eating an entire bag of Lay's Salt-n-Vinegar chips. 22. What do you do that you do not enjoy simply for appearance's sake?: Pluck my eyebrows, wear uncomfortable shoes, wear bras. Heh. 23. Have you ever taken out a singles ad?: No. 24. Have you ever lied in a singles ad?: See #23. 25. When was the last time you bounced a check?: Never! Overdraft is a wonderful invention. 26. Have you ever camped out for concert tickets? If so, for which concert?: No. On-line ticket purchase is a wonderful invention. 27. What's the most embarrassing name ever given to you by a significant other?: Niffer. 28. Ever played truth or dare in an effort to get into someone's pants?: No. There are much better games. 29. Did you have sex in high school?: In the school itself? No. While I was going to high school? Yes. 30. What's your favorite drinking game?: Roxanne (Play the song, boys take a shot when Sting sings "Roxanne", girls take a shot when he sings "You don't have to put on the red light". The winner is the person who can go through the most replays of the song.). Also, CSI: Miami - take a shot every time Horatio puts on or takes off his sunglasses. We might expand this one to also include taking a shot whenever he sounds like William Shatner. 31. What bad habits do you have that no one is supposed to know about?: Rocking myself to sleep, chewing my cuticles, quoting "The Princess Bride" at random moments. 32. Are you completely honest in situations where your name isn't used?: Yep. 33. Ever urinated in public?: Is the woods "public"? 34. Which celebrity would you most like to see drop off the face of the Earth?: Rodney Dangerfield. 35. Which celebrity would you most like to bring back from the dead?: River Phoenix. I wonder what he could have done with himself. Oh, and John Ritter. 36. If you found out who really killed JFK, who would you tell first?: Calvin, and then an exclusive interview with Barbara Walters. 37. What's your favorite comic strip?: Calvin and Hobbes. 38. What was the last thing you purchased at Wal-hypen-Mart? When was that?: Some clothes to wear for my suddenly extended trip in Maine, the week I went back for Grandma's illness and had to stay for her funeral. Back in '01. 39. If you were afforded the opportunity to sleep with one of your friends, who would it be?: See the celebrity question in the first survey, if I were friends with any of them. 40. To what superstition do you most adhere?: "I don't believe in superstitions, I just believe in me." Okay, so I paraphrase Ferris, too. 41. Elevators or escalators?: Stairs! And those people mover thingies at the airport that make you cruise along like Bionic Woman when you walk on 'em. 42. How many justices of the US Supreme Court can you name? No cheating (there are nine): Yeah, right. 43. What is the name of your congressman? (or similar government representative for those living outside the US and not in some fascist country that doesn't have a representational government): My sister was pissed when I told her I'm not even registered to vote. 44. What are you a big old geek about?: Buffy. Figuring out some new code for my website. My new cell phone. 45. Who makes you laugh?: Two and a Half Men. And Calvin. 46. Have you ever been in a band? If so, what was it called?: Does playing clarinet in the school band from 4th to 6th grade count? 47. Herbivore, carnivore, or omnivore?: Omnivore. 48. When playing tic tac toe, which square do you always fill in first? Do you prefer "X" or "O"?: How about Hangman? 49. Does the time 4:20 have any significance for you?: What a weird question. 50. What was the biggest prize you ever won?: $100 in an AcronymCo charity drawing. Comments on this entry? Head on over to Colloquial!

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©Laura Charon 2000 - 2004.